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Two toddlers looking highly suspicious in their organic cotton bodysuits

The Four Seasons Orlando Baby and Other Internet Lies

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo while Florence tries to forcefully feed a damp oatcake to the Wi-Fi router. Matilda is sitting on the rug, entirely naked from the waist down, staring at...

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A dad holding two babies looking exhausted but happy

Freddie Gibbs Baby Mama Gossip vs. The Reality of Fatherhood

Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct pieces of advice about the impending transition to fatherhood. My postman, Terry, told me to sleep while I still could (it's physically impossible to bank sleep in advance, Terry, but thanks for...

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Exhausted millennial mom holding coffee and a frida baby nose sucker

Dear Past Me: Surviving Baby Colds With A Frida Baby Nose Sucker

Dear Past Me from six months ago, You're currently standing in aisle 14 at Target, holding a registry scanner gun for your pregnant sister, and staring blindly at a wall of infant grooming tools. You're wearing your stained gray "mom"...

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A close up of a gateron baby kangaroo mechanical switch next to a baby pacifier

My 3AM Encounter With The Notorious Gateron Baby Kangaroo

It sounded like a particularly brittle beetle being crushed under a Wellington boot, but the sharp, piercing pain shooting directly up into my left heel suggested something far more synthetic. It was 3:17 AM. I was halfway across the living...

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A six month old baby in a high chair completely covered in mashed cooked salmon

Feeding Your Baby Salmon: The Bones, The Smell, The Absolute Mess

It was a Tuesday around 6:15 PM, and I was wearing my one good silk shirt. Why I was wearing a dry-clean-only Madewell top in my own kitchen while feeding a six-month-old is a mystery that I'll take to my...

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Toddler playing with handmade popsicle stick puppets on a wooden floor

Surviving the Meltdown: How a Baby Shark PNG Saved My Sanity

The spaghetti water is foaming over the edge of the pot, the dog is rage-barking at the UPS guy, and my three-year-old is lying face-down on the kitchen linoleum. I'm standing there with a wooden spoon in one hand and...

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Wooden play gym with natural animal toys in a minimalist nursery

Raising the 'Baby Rich' Without Making Them Insufferable

I was staring at a three-thousand-dollar acrylic crib on my phone at 4 a.m. while covered in sour milk, waiting for my maternity leave pay to clear. That was the exact moment I realized my entire concept of being baby...

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Mom holding a TV remote looking absolutely panicked in a messy living room

Baby Reindeer Reviews: The Netflix Show That Shocked My House

I was knee-deep in a laundry basket full of tiny socks that somehow all turn into singles in the dryer, when my oldest—the one who tests every single gray hair on my head daily—yelled from the living room that he...

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Sleep-deprived dad inspecting spots on a two-month-old baby's face in dim light

The Great Spot Panic: When Your Infant Looks Like a Teenager

There's a very specific type of terror reserved for 4:17 am, illuminated solely by the aggressive blue light of an iPhone torch. I was standing over the Moses basket, holding a generic glass tumbler against my two-week-old daughter’s cheek, trying...

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