The kriss_baby_ leaks webcam scare: Why I tossed our monitor
My husband was standing in the hallway in his underwear at two in the morning, aggressively poking the back of our internet router with a bent paperclip while swearing under his breath. I was sitting on the floor of the...
Why that july 21st beanie baby is a nursery nightmare
Listen, it was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday when my mother-in-law proudly handed me a plastic grocery bag that smelled faintly of mothballs and damp basement. Inside was Bijoux the Poodle, a vintage plush toy with a faded...
The Night "Sugar Baby Production" Ruined My Search History
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the glowing blue square of the baby monitor is showing me the night-vision outline of my eleven-month-old son doing something that looks suspiciously like a plank. He has been teething for what...
Why You Should Never Put a september 25th beanie baby in a Crib
It was 2017, it was roughly 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing Dave’s old college track sweatshirt that had a mysterious, permanent yogurt stain right on the collar. Maya wasn't even a thought yet, and Leo was exactly...
Troubleshooting The September 19 Birthday Twin Plushie Trend
I'll tell you exactly what not to do when you finally receive that crinkly, retro-smelling package from a vintage seller on the internet: don't immediately hand the twenty-six-year-old plush toy to your teething eleven-month-old. I made this exact logic error...
What Is A Tornado Baby Medical Truth I Wish I Knew
You're sitting in the windowless interior hallway of our Chicago apartment right now, sweating through a t-shirt while the sirens blare outside. The dog is pacing, the power is flickering, and you're frantically scrolling through your phone trying to figure...
A Dad's Tech Guide to Figuring Out When Is Baby Boi Dropping
It was 2:14 AM. The baby monitor was glowing with that sinister green night-vision hue that makes my eleven-month-old look like a paranormal entity trapped in a crib. My phone vibrated on the nightstand, blinding me with the lock screen....
When to Move Baby to Their Own Room Without Losing Your Mind
I was standing in the Target baby aisle holding a three-pack of pacifiers and staring blankly into space when it happened. Maya was about four months old, strapped to my chest in a carrier, blowing those aggressive little spit bubbles...
The Yucaipa Case: Why Parking Lot Anxiety is Completely Real
Let me tell you what not to do. Don't try to manage a level-four diaper blowout on the slightly curved bumper of a compact SUV in the middle of a Target parking lot when the wind chill is hovering around...