Is Your Baby Constipated? The Great 3 AM London Nappy Standoff
It was 4:14 AM on a Tuesday when Florence began her impression of an Olympic weightlifter attempting a personal best. Her face turned a shade of crimson I previously thought was reserved for London buses, her tiny knees pulled up...
The unvarnished truth about baby coloring pages and eating wax
We were sitting in a rather nice gastropub in Highbury when Florence, who was exactly eleven months and four days old, locked eyes with me and bit the top half off a complimentary red pub crayon. She chewed it with...
That 3AM Moment We Met a Baby Centipede (And Panicked)
The luminous dial on the baby monitor read 2:14 AM. I was standing in the semi-darkness of the nursery, holding a soiled nappy at armβs length, trying to calculate if I had the energy to take it to the outside...
Midnight fridge audits and the great baby carrots recall panic
It was exactly 11:42 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself knee-deep in the bottom drawer of the fridge, clutching a flashlight between my teeth like a cat burglar who specialises exclusively in stealing root vegetables. The twins were...
Surviving the 2024 Baby Carrots Recall in a Jetlagged Haze
We were three days into a Thanksgiving visit to my wife's parents in Massachusetts, and I had just spent twenty minutes wrestling the rental baby car seat into my father-in-law's astronomically large SUV, when my mother-in-law burst through the front...
That time my twins found a baby cardinal in the garden dirt
"Put the potato down, Florence," I said, barely glancing up from my lukewarm cup of tea. We were two weeks into our summer holiday visiting my wifeβs parents in upstate New York, and my primary goal for the afternoon was...
A 3AM Panic, A Baby Bush Hospital Article, And Surviving Twins
It was 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday, and the frankly demonic electronic voice of a cartoon panda driving a baby bus was the only thing preventing my left arm from going entirely numb. Zoe was wedged firmly in my...
The Baby Buddha Breast Pump: A Dadβs Guide to Troubleshooting
It was 3 AM, and I was holding a pair of digital calipers, trying to measure my wife's nipples to the exact millimeter while she glared at me from the edge of the bed. This isn't exactly how I pictured...
Why We Finally Banned Those Baby Bratz Dolls From Our London Flat
The invasion began on a damp Tuesday afternoon when my wifeβs Auntie Pam breezed into our flat, shook off her umbrella, and dropped a shockingly pink, heavily blister-packed box onto our coffee table. Florence and Matilda, our two-year-old twins who...