When To Have Baby Shower: A Mom's Blunt Guide To Timing It
I was standing in the middle of Aisle 4 at Target with a registry scanner gun in my hand, sweating profusely in a maternity cardigan that was clearly lying about being breathable, when my mom called to demand a date...
When Do You Have A Baby Shower? A Dad's Guide to Timing
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting at your desk while the Portland rain hammers against the window, staring at a flashing cursor on a shared Google Calendar. You're trying to calculate the exact deployment window for a...
Building an amazon baby shower registry without losing your mind
It's 3:14 in the morning, the absolute peak hour for making terrible life choices, and I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of the internet. My wife is fast asleep. I, however, am wide awake and researching wipe warmers. I've just...
Realistic baby girl shower ideas that will not exhaust the mother
I was 33 weeks pregnant, ankles looking like over-proofed dough, trapped on a wicker throne in my aunt's living room. Thirty women were staring at me while my cousin measured my abdomen with two-ply toilet paper. Every masi in a...
Honest Girl Baby Shower Themes That Will Not Make You Cringe
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by three different shades of sage green cardstock while scrolling through baby shower themes, trying to figure out how to force fifty people to celebrate...
Ditching the Cringe: Baby Shower Activities People Actually Like
I was standing in my sister-in-law's cramped kitchen, holding a flimsy plastic spoon, trying to scrape melted, lukewarm Snickers out of a newborn diaper while seven women I barely knew stared at me in absolute silence. The chocolate had congealed...
Debugging the Pinterest Algorithm: Our Boy Baby Shower Theme Saga
It was 10:42 PM on a Tuesday when the algorithm finally broke me. My wife, Sarah, was asleep on my shoulder, but her phone was still unlocked in her hand, illuminating the dark bedroom with an endless, scrolling matrix of...
Debugging The Maternity Baby Shower Dress Meltdown In Real Time
Exactly forty-five minutes before our backyard celebration was supposed to start, I found my wife stress-crying in our Portland bathroom with a humidity sensor from my server rack sitting on the counter. She was 31 weeks pregnant, and the highly-rated,...
Finding a maternity dress for baby shower events without losing you...
I'm trapped in a zippered velvet prison. It's mid-July in Chicago, I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant, and the zipper on this supposed dream dress is stuck right over my left rib, which my daughter currently uses as a kicking bag. The...