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Exposing the Baby Bump to Billionaire Wife Fantasy for Real Moms
It was 2:43 AM last Tuesday, and I was pinned under a snoring toddler, elbow-deep in a bag of salt and vinegar chips, aggressively squinting at my phone screen in the dark. I had fallen down the darkest, weirdest rabbit...
Surviving Your First Baby Xray Without Completely Losing Your Mind
It was a Tuesday at 9 AM, and I was sitting in a freezing radiology waiting room wearing yesterdayβs leggings and a nursing bra that smelled faintly of sour milk. I was staring blankly at a poster of a cartoon...
The Absolute Sweat-Soaked Truth About Buying Baby Girl Dresses
It was 2 PM, the sun was literally laughing at us, and I was holding a plastic cup of iced coffee that was basically just brown water at that point. We were at my cousin Rachelβs outdoor wedding in August...
The Brutal Truth About H&M Sizing and My Fast Fashion Paradox
I was literally sitting on the floor of Mayaβs nursery, which was painted this exact shade of sage green that I spent three weeks hyper-fixating on during my third trimester, crying over a tiny beige cardigan. She was maybe eight...
Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying Nike Baby Shoes
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the pouring rain outside a shop window in Covent Garden, staring at a pair of miniature high-tops while your twin daughters attempt to dismantle the rain cover of their Bugaboo...
The brutal truth about infant wardrobes and diaper blowouts
My mother-in-law walked into my recovery room and immediately tried to put a fleece hat on my two-day-old son. An hour later, the lactation consultant breezed in and told me to strip him down to his diaper so he wouldn't...
The Truth About Zara Baby: Sizing, Shrinking, And Alternatives
When I was pregnant with my first, everybody and their mother had an opinion on how to dress a baby. My own mom, bless her heart, dragged me to the department store and loaded my cart with neon orange monkey...
How We Built a Baby Saja Costume (Without the Meltdown)
I was holding a detached, highly synthetic faux-collar in my left hand while my eleven-month-old son actively tried to eat a teal polyester wig. This was iteration one of the baby Saja outfit, ordered at 2 AM from a drop-shipping...
The Truth About Expensive Bamboo Sleep Sacks And The Laundry
The biggest lie the internet tells new mothers is that spending fifty bucks on a piece of magical fabric will buy you a full night of uninterrupted sleep. It was 11 PM on a random Tuesday in 2019, I was...