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Why the Sparkle Megan Baby Drama Hits Hard for Exhausted Dads
It was 3:14 AM on our second night home from the hospital, and I was holding a cold, wet wipe in my teeth while trying to untangle a tiny, thrashing leg from a heavily soiled sleep sack, desperately hoping my...
Sparkle Megan Baby Daddy Drama: A Tired Dad's Honest Take
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old son, Leo, was currently undergoing some sort of mysterious firmware update that apparently required him to aggressively slap my collarbone while wide awake in the dark. My wife, Sarah, was...
Finding A Sugar Dating Platform On My Niece's Phone Broke My Brain
There I was, elbow-deep in a laundry basket of spit-up stained onesies on my back porch, trying to untangle a rogue sock from my toddler's overalls while swatting away Texas mosquitoes. My nineteen-year-old niece was visiting from college and had...
Why surviving twin toddlers requires literal tactical baby gear
There's a rather pervasive myth floating around the parenting forums right now. They'll enthusiastically tell you that fathers only buy militarised rucksacks because they're tragically insecure about their own masculinity. People assume we're terrified of holding a floral tote bag,...
Living With The Boss Baby: Sleep, Siblings, And Your Sanity
There's a massive, glittering lie floating around pregnancy message boards that newborns sleep eighteen hours a day, and I just need to laugh hysterically at that for a second. Picture me at 3:17 AM last Tuesday, standing on the cold...
What Three Wise Men and a Baby Gets Right About Real Parenting
My mom told me to keep him wrapped up tight in a heavy blanket so he wouldn't catch a draft. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, insisted he needed to "breathe" in the ninety-degree Texas heat and tried to strip him...
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
A Letter To My Past Self: When Do Babies Start Rolling Over?
Dear Tom of October 2022, You're currently sitting on the floor of the living room, drinking lukewarm instant coffee and staring at Florence and Matilda. They're roughly fourteen weeks old. They're on their backs. They have been on their backs...
Debugging Gravity: When Do Babies Start Sitting Up Usually?
It's currently 7:14 PM, and I'm building a fortress of couch cushions around my eleven-month-old daughter on our living room rug. She is folded entirely in half, staring intensely at a piece of lint she found near the coffee table....