What Do Baby Birds Eat? A Dad's Guide to Backyard Rescues
It's 2 PM on a Tuesday, I'm supposed to be pushing code to a staging server, and instead I'm on my knees in the dirt staring at what appears to be a raw chicken tender that has somehow sprouted a...
What Actually Decides If You're Having a Boy or a Girl
I was six weeks pregnant with my oldest, aggressively dry-heaving into a paper cup in the passenger seat of my husband's truck, when my grandma leaned forward from the backseat and said, "If you want a girl, you need to...
The Truth About That Welcome To Derry Baby Trend Wrecking Sleep
When the night terrors started last week, I naturally asked three different people for advice, which was my first mistake. The woman who runs our local playgroup suggested I let the twins "lean into their dark emotions" and process the...
Why parents who try to watch baby driver get weird search results
My mom called on a Tuesday to say I needed to buy a "baby driver" immediately because that's supposedly how I learned to walk in 1993. Four hours later, my frontend lead Slacked me a link saying I had to...
How One Cheap Walmart Baby Gate Almost Ruined My Entire Weekend
There I was, standing in aisle 14 of an Orlando Walmart at two in the morning while visiting my wifeβs American family, holding what I believed to be a simple piece of plastic and mesh. I was completely unaware that...
Why I Threw Out My Popular Baby Seat (And Got The Upseat)
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at my five-month-old son, Leo, who looked exactly like a tiny, extremely drunk man slumped at a bar at last call. He was sittingβor rather, sinkingβinto one of those...
My Love-Hate Relationship With The Massive Uppa Baby Stroller
I was standing in what can only be described as a biblical amount of mud on Hampstead Heath, rain aggressively lashing against my glasses, while Twin A screamed with the sheer lung capacity of an opera singer and Twin B...
The Late-Night Internet Spiral and Your Baby's Goo Goo Phase
It's 3:17 AM. I'm sitting on the edge of the glider in my oldest kid's hand-me-down sweatpants, smelling faintly of sour milk and sheer desperation, holding a smartphone with the brightness turned all the way down so I don't accidentally...
Debugging The Farm Book: What Do We Actually Call A Baby Goat?
It's 5:43 AM and my brain is currently running on safe mode. My 11-month-old son is sitting on my lap, aggressively pointing a sticky, banana-coated index finger at page four of a cardboard farm book. I'm staring at an illustration...