Why the best baby travel system is a beautiful lie
I'm sitting at a coffee shop in Wicker Park watching a mom nurse a cold matcha latte. Next to her is a four-week-old baby, completely folded in half like a taco inside an expensive stroller frame. The car seat is...
Finding a maternity dress for baby shower events without losing you...
I'm trapped in a zippered velvet prison. It's mid-July in Chicago, I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant, and the zipper on this supposed dream dress is stuck right over my left rib, which my daughter currently uses as a kicking bag. The...
The Reality Behind 'Me As A Baby' Memes: A Letter To Past Marcus
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 2:14 AM, staring at the baby monitor app on your phone, trying to figure out why your five-month-old son sounds like a dial-up modem struggling to connect to a bad...
Why Muppet Babies Is The Only Reboot I Tolerate
It's exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son is attempting to aggressively eat the Roku remote. I'm running on three hours of fragmented sleep and half a cup of cold, day-old pour-over coffee. The biggest myth they...
The Chaos of Niche Chinese Babies Lyrics in Our London Flat
It was 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my living room floor was already covered in a sticky layer of crushed oatcakes and unidentifiable moisture. Twin A had Twin B in what I can only describe as a competitive headlock...
Why Raising A Little Tiger Shouldn't Mean Losing Your Mind
The biggest lie they tell us about raising successful kids is that you've to start treating them like miniature Harvard applicants the second they crown. I remember sitting on my hand-me-down couch with my oldest baby, heavily caffeinated and crying...
How to Handle a Tick Bite on Your Baby Without Losing Your Mind
I was elbows deep in lukewarm bathwater trying to scrub what I thought was a stubborn piece of dried Texas dirt out from behind my four-month-old’s left ear. My oldest was running around the bathroom completely naked, loudly singing a...
Baby This is Keke Palmer: How a Pop Culture Podcast Saved My Sanity
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in late October, four years ago when Leo was just a tiny, furious newborn. I was sitting in the driver’s seat of my Honda CR-V in the Target parking lot. I was wearing...
When baby tears sims 4 complaints broke me during a 3am twin meltdown
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was illuminated entirely by the sickly blue glow of my phone screen while Twin A writhed against my shoulder like a damp, furious sack of potatoes. Twin B was mercifully unconscious in...