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A Letter to Myself About That Viral Celebrity Baby Drama
3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rhythmic, glitchy half-cry that usually precedes a full system meltdown, and instead of checking the thermostat—which I've strictly calibrated to 68.5 degrees—or logging his last feeding into the overly complex Notion database I...
The Coughing Baby Survival Guide: From Panic To Grudging Acceptance
I'm standing in our minuscule London bathroom at half past three in the morning, completely fully clothed, with the shower running at maximum heat. The room is so thick with steam that the mirror is dripping onto the toothpaste tube,...
The Truth About Amber Necklaces and Safe Baby Jewelry Options
I’m standing in this dimly lit, incense-heavy boutique in Brooklyn back in 2018, wearing yoga pants that have an unidentified crusty stain on the knee. Maya is six months old, she's screaming at a pitch that I’m pretty sure is...
The Truth About Baby Heat Rash (Even in the Middle of Winter)
It was Thanksgiving day, forty degrees outside here in Texas, and I was unpeeling my oldest son, Hunter, from his fleece bear suit like a sweaty little tamale. My mother-in-law had insisted he needed a long-sleeve onesie, a heavy sweater,...
The Absolute Mess of Buying Baby Girl Shoes That Actually Work
I'm currently sitting here at 9:45 AM on my third cup of lukewarm French roast, trying to remember exactly when I lost my mind over miniature footwear. I think it was October 2018. My sister was getting married in upstate...
The real truth about baby food pouches and picky eating
My mother-in-law told me I need to boil and blend organic root vegetables until my kitchen looks like a nineteenth-century apothecary. The guy ahead of me at our Portland neighborhood coffee shop loudly proclaimed that purees destroy a baby's jaw...
Baby Flat Head: My 3 AM Panic Spiral and What Actually Happened
It was 3:14 AM and I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and sheer desperation. Leo, my firstborn, was exactly ten weeks old. He was fast asleep in his bassinet, totally oblivious, and I was...
Billionaire Custody Drama: What Real Parents Can Actually Learn
I spent my first two months as a mom trying to run my household like an intensive care unit. I had spreadsheets for dirty diapers and laminated feeding schedules taped to the fridge. It was a disaster. I was exhausted,...
Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...