Stop Crying Over Baby Weight: A Letter to My Sleep-Deprived Self
Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you. You're standing barefoot in the master bathroom at 3 AM. You're completely naked, holding a screaming, naked infant. You step on the cold digital scale, squinting in the dark to read...
Staring At Walls: The Blurry Truth About Baby Vision Development
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a gray maternity tank top from Target that smelled strongly of sour milk, stale coffee, and raw desperation. The house was entirely silent except for the rhythmic,...
Why Your Screaming Newborn Is Basically A Hairless Baby Toucan
I spent three solid months before my oldest was born painting his nursery the perfect shade of 'oatmeal' and buying tiny, stiff linen button-downs that cost more than my weekly grocery budget. My oldest kid is basically a walking cautionary...
When Your Kid Folds in Half: Surviving a Frank Breech Baby Delivery
"Put a frozen bag of frozen peas on the top of your belly," my neighbor Shelly told me at the grocery store, cornering me between the canned beans and the tortillas. "Stand on your head in the swimming pool," my...
The newborn enchanting phase is mostly just exhaustion and bodily f...
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or possibly a Thursday, and I was lying flat on my back on the living room rug, holding a black-and-white card depicting a heavily stylized badger. I was holding this badger approximately ten...
The Great Spot Panic: When Your Infant Looks Like a Teenager
There's a very specific type of terror reserved for 4:17 am, illuminated solely by the aggressive blue light of an iPhone torch. I was standing over the Moses basket, holding a generic glass tumbler against my two-week-old daughterβs cheek, trying...
Decoding The Baby Poop Chart By Age (Without Losing Your Mind)
I'm standing in the nursery, holding my phone flashlight in my mouth, wearing a nursing tank that smells violently like sour milk and desperation, staring into the dark, terrifying depths of my newborn daughter Mayaβs diaper. It's 3:14 AM. The...
Baby Please Come Home: Surviving The First 48 Hours
Whatever you do, don't boldly tell the discharge nurse that you already configured the car seat hardware when your only actual training was skimming a YouTube Short on 1.5x speed. I learned this the hard way while sweating profusely in...
Dear past Priya: what I wish I knew about that first photoshoot
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on a sterile puppy pad in a stranger's living room studio, sweating through your nursing bra while a woman named Crystal adjusts a giant ring light. You have a fresh milk...