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Why You Are Totally Confused By Those Tiny Receiving Blankets
I was sitting on my living room floor a few days after my oldest son's baby shower, completely surrounded by a mountain of these tiny, square flannel blankets that someone had lovingly rolled up like little burritos and tied with...
How to Buy Good Bibs for Adults Without Sacrificing Dignity
We were twenty minutes into Thanksgiving dinner two years ago when it happened. My grandmother, who has always dressed like sheβs about to have tea with the Queen, was trying to lift a spoonful of gravy. Her hand gave that...
Exposing the Real Job of a Brand Ambassador in the Baby World
I was sitting on my living room rug at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday, trying to bribe my screaming toddler with a half-eaten graham cracker so he would hold a wooden rattle for exactly three seconds. The natural...
Why Infant Silicone Replaced Every Plastic Bowl In My House
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at two in the morning, staring at a warped plastic breast pump flange floating in a pot of boiling water. It had melted just enough to look like modern art. The smell of...
The Utter Chaos of Trying to Dress a Very Small and Angry Newborn
Before the twins arrived, I was cornered at a family gathering and given three entirely contradictory pieces of advice regarding infant wardrobes. My mother-in-law insisted on knitted cardigans with actual, functional miniature buttons (a stylistic choice I'm still unpacking with...
Surviving loud baby gifts for boys and what parents actually want
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday. I was standing in the dark hallway of our Chicago apartment, holding a baby who had finally stopped crying after forty-five minutes of unexplained misery. The silence was thick and fragile....
Why high-end infant clothes usually aren't worth the headache
My oldest son, Wyatt, is the reason I've trust issues with zippers, snap crotches, and the entire childrenβs clothing industry. When he was about three months old, I got it in my head that we needed professional family photos out...
The 3AM Zipper Panic and Finding the Perfect Baby Schlafanzug
It's 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday in late November, and I'm sitting in total darkness on the floor of the nursery trying to match up what feels like forty-seven tiny metal poppers on a sleepsuit while Twin A...
A Letter to Past Me About Surviving The Boys Sweater Phase
Dear Marcus from six months ago: You're currently standing in the baby apparel aisle holding a tiny, adorable, heavily patterned wool pullover. Put it down. Seriously, drop it right now before your wife sees it and you both convince yourselves...