Magazine
The Truth About Buying A Baby G-Shock Watch For Your Kid
It was exactly 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of my kitchen wearing yoga pants with a highly questionable yogurt stain on the knee, desperately trying to saw through a thick pink resin watch...
The terrifying truth about the viral baby fuggler TikTok trend
It was exactly 6:13 in the morning and I was wearing yesterday's yoga pants with an unidentified yogurt stain on the knee when my seven-year-old, Maya, shoved her sticky iPad approximately half an inch from my face. I hadn't even...
Dear Past Tom: The chaotic truth about cooking meals for babies
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at two in the afternoon, wearing a jumper that smells faintly of sour milk, staring at a blender full of steamed sweet potato. You have a very specific,...
The Truth About Raising Kids and a Baby Ferret
I was standing in my kitchen at 6:15 AM wearing Dave's oversized college hoodie that smells vaguely of sour milk, staring at my phone while my coffee dripped agonizingly slowly into the pot. I had stumbled down a TikTok rabbit...
The Truth About Baby Feet: Why Everyone's Advice Is Dead Wrong
I swear, the minute I brought my oldest, Jackson, home from the hospital, it was open season on his toes. My mom took one look at his bare little feet on a perfectly pleasant 75-degree Texas afternoon and shrieked that...
My Complete Meltdown Over Petting Zoos and a Tiny Baby Donkey
It's exactly 10:14 AM on a Tuesday and I'm currently wedged between a rusty chain-link fence and a toddler who's vibrating with the kind of feral energy that usually precedes a trip to urgent care. My four-year-old, Leo, is violently...
The ugly truth about buying your toddler a baby doll stroller
There was a tiny pool of blood on my hardwood floor. Not a catastrophic amount, just enough to make my old hospital triage instincts override my standard maternal panic. Maya was on her back, screaming, holding a split lip. Tangled...
The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins
I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...
When your sweet newborn suddenly turns into an actual baby demon
It was exactly 6:43 PM on a Tuesday in November. The radiators in our Chicago apartment were clanking the way they always do when the wind picks up. My sweet three-month-old daughter, who had spent the entire morning peacefully cooing...