Why Most Toddler Khaki Shorts Belong Straight In The Garbage
Three different people gave me completely conflicting instructions about dressing my kid for my cousin's outdoor wedding last summer. My mother-in-law cornered me at the mehndi to declare that a proper beta needs stiff, pleated trousers to look respectable in...
The soapy nightmare that led us to stainless steel toddler plates
Tuesday night, 6:43 PM. Kabir had just aggressively rejected a batch of organic mac and cheese that I spent twenty minutes hiding pureed cauliflower inside. I was standing over the kitchen sink, eating the lukewarm leftovers directly off his favorite...
Debugging Baby Clothes: The Infant Long Sleeve Romper Upgrade
6:14 AM. Portland is doing that gray, misty drizzle thing it does for nine months of the year. My 11-month-old is currently trying to pull himself up on the edge of the living room coffee table. He is wearing a...
My Spectacular Fails Before Giving Up On Toddler Flare Jeans
It was 10:14 AM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing faded black leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a yoga studio since Obama was in office. I was holding a lukewarm iced coffee from that local place...
The Absolute Truth About Toddler Boy Sweaters
"Put him in raw wool, it builds character and keeps the chest warm," my mother-in-law announced over Thanksgiving turkey while Leo, my four-year-old, was actively trying to staple a piece of ham to the dining room table. Meanwhile, my best...
Dear Past Me: The Bamboo Toddler Blanket Is Actually Worth It
Dear Jess of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery at 2:14 AM, using your teeth to try and unjam a zipper on a fleece sleep sack that somehow got stuck on a blowout-ruined diaper...
The Catastrophic Christening That Sold Me On Spanish Baby Clothes
The great christening disaster of last October began not with a dropped cake or a forgotten prayer book, but with a synthetic ruffle. We were sitting in the slightly damp function room of a local gastropub, attempting to celebrate my...
Dear Past Me: The Absolute Messy Truth About Rock Babykleidung
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot with the AC blasting because itβs ungodly hot, ignoring your steering wheel which is completely sticky because your iced oat milk latte just aggressively leaked...
Why suction bowls are actually about motor skills, not clean floors
I'm currently scraping dried avocado off the baseboard with a plastic pediatric tongue depressor I stole from my old hospital ward. People think the whole point of a suction bowl is to prevent this exact scenario. They assume it's just...