Look Outside Rat Baby: When Your Kid's Google Search Gets Real
Last Tuesday, I was standing over my farmhouse sink, aggressively scraping crusty oatmeal off a plastic toddler plate with my thumbnail, when I happened to glance at the family iPad sitting on the counter. The browser was open to a...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Social Security Baby Names
Listen. You're sitting in the sweltering heat of the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue, crying into a lukewarm chai because an influencer just named her kid the exact moniker you've been hoarding for eight months. I know you're devastated....
My Sorry Baby Trailer Disasters & The Toxic Y2K Baby T Trend
I'm standing in our cracked concrete driveway sweating completely through my favorite target t-shirt while trying to shove a supposedly perfectly-sized bicycle helmet onto a screaming ten-month-old who's actively stiff-boarding his body like a plank of wood. Dear past Jess...
The Co-Parenting Chaos Nobody Warns You About
I'm sitting in my minivan outside a Starbucks in River North watching my friend do a custody handoff that looks exactly like a Code Blue in the ER. Just pure, uncoordinated panic. She's shoving a heavy diaper bag at her...
The Messy Truth About Feeding Sugar Baby Melons to Infants
I'm currently staring at my kitchen counter, which looks exactly like a crime scene. I've a paring knife in one hand, half of a tiny, bowling-ball-sized watermelon in the other, and sticky pink juice running all the way down to...
Real Talk: The "That's My Baby She's Iconic" Trend Is Exhausting
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the edge of the master bathtub at 2:14 AM wearing those gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, and you're literally crying into a mug of coffee that...
The Hackney Standoff: Two Babies, One Urban Fox, Zero Dignity
At 5:43 AM on a drizzly Tuesday, I found myself in a high-stakes staring contest with a mangy urban fox. I was armed only with a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and two extremely confident toddlers who were aggressively wielding...
Lil Baby Drip Too Hard: A Mom's Guide to Drool and Outfits
I was elbow-deep in a blowout that had somehow breached the diaper barrier and traveled all the way up my youngest son's back when my fifteen-year-old nephew strolled into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks, stared at...
Lil Baby Baby Mama Drama: The Mental Load Of Modern Parenting
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's 3:14 AM. You're pinned under a sleeping infant who has somehow gained the density of a dying star. Your left arm went numb twenty minutes ago, but you're absolutely terrified to move because...