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Dear past me: Surviving the great scrap baby incident of October
Dear Sarah from six months ago, Itβs Tuesday, right? Youβre sitting on the hot driveway asphalt wearing that oversized gray NYU hoodie with the mysterious yellow stain on the left cuff that might be mustard but is honestly probably breastmilk...
Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields and the Myth of Normal Parenting
I'm currently paused on a frame of a 1980s television talk show host asking an 11-year-old child an incredibly inappropriate question about her body. The harsh glow of the TV is illuminating the half-empty bottles on our coffee table, my...
Pretty Baby Full Movie Searchers: A Mom's Take on Screens
I was sitting on my living room floor at 10 PM last Tuesday, folding what felt like my four-thousandth load of tiny toddler socks, when I went down a massive Google rabbit hole. I had just finished watching that two-part...
Why the pretty baby 1978 aesthetic is ruining modern motherhood
I spent three hours last Tuesday trying to wedge a screaming four-month-old into a neutral-toned, structured linen romper just so my mother-in-law wouldn't text me about how unkempt her granddaughter looked in my Instagram stories. The romper had eight tiny...
The Accidental Chaos of Searching for Joker Baby Stuff
At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I tried to optimize our Halloween strategy by typing a highly unspecific query into my phone with my left thumb, while my right arm acted as a human structural support for an 11-month-old who...
The Truth About The Rakai Glitch Trend And Toddler Screen Time
I was wrist-deep in pureed carrots when my group chat of first-time moms started vibrating off the kitchen counter. Someone had seen a TikTok video about a glitching kid and was actively spiraling into a panic. They thought it was...
The Horrifying Truth About Baby FNAF: A Tired Dad's Discovery
At 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, my daughter Maya sat bolt upright in her cot, pointed a trembling, chubby finger at the slightly ajar wardrobe door, and shrieked something about a clown with a claw in its tummy. Her twin...
How to Take Good Newborn Photos Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sweating through my third nursing tank of the day, teetering on a dining room chair with my iPhone hovering over my oldest son, Leo, who was currently screaming his head off in a hand-knitted Yoda costume my mom...
Baby Announcement Cards: A Postpartum Letter To My Past Self
It's two in the morning. The Chicago winter wind is rattling the bedroom window, and I'm staring at a stack of heavy-stock envelopes sitting next to a cold mug of chai. My breast pump is making that rhythmic, dying-cow sound....