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Baby sitting in a high chair signing more with their hands covered in sweet potato

How Baby Sign Language Finally Stopped the Dinner Time Screaming

I was standing in my kitchen staring at sweet potato puree dripping from the ceiling fan, holding a stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, while my ten-month-old son arched his back so hard I thought he might actually...

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A plump baby seal resting alone on a grey coastal rock formation

Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea

We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...

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Sarah holding a cold cup of coffee looking stressed at a laptop screen

The Baby Registry Amazon Myth That Totally Ruined My Saturday

I was wearing Dave's oversized college sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the bleach stain on the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw awayβ€”sitting on our living room rug with my third cup of lukewarm, frankly terrible coffee, just sobbing at...

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Portland dad holding an eleven-month-old baby otter in a community swimming pool wrapped in a towel.

Debugging Infant Water Safety and the Sea Otter Parenting Method

I'm currently losing a wrestling match with a wet, angry noodle on a bench that smells aggressively of bleach. My eleven-month-old son has somehow managed to triple his body weight purely through the physics of being slippery, and the acoustic...

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Exhausted dad holding a spreadsheet about baby gear while staring in bewilderment at toddler toys

Ready For Baby One More Time? A Dad's Glitchy Guide

It was 3:14 AM. The air was thick with the smell of organic sweet potato puree and sheer desperation. Our 11-month-old, Leo, had just executed a flawless system override by projectile vomiting directly into my left slipper. I was standing...

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Tired dad looking at a laptop spreadsheet while holding a baby

Debugging the Ultimate Spreadsheet of Baby Names for Girls - Dad Log

Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting at your desk at 2 AM. Your daughter is five months old, sleeping for a miraculous forty-two-minute stretch, and your brain is finally quiet. Then your buddy Dave texts you. He...

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Twin toddlers sitting on the floor looking confused at a smartphone screen

The Midnight Google Search for Baby Metal That Broke My Brain

It was roughly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, a time of night when the human brain is largely just a puddle of lukewarm porridge, and I was pinned beneath Maya, the heavier of the twins, who had recently decided that...

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Exhausted mom holding a newborn in a sustainable Kianao bodysuit

Reclaiming The Title Of Baby Mama And Surviving Year One

My wife is asleep next to me, emitting a low, rhythmic wheeze that means she’s currently in deep REM, and I'm sitting in the dark, furiously scrolling through a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaires. I literally caught myself googling how...

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Two tiny baby jordans scattered across a messy living room floor next to a chewed silicone teether

Dear Past Tom: The Expensive, Absurd Reality of Baby Jordans

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your grey t-shirt, pinning Florence between your knees while attempting to force her inexplicably square, fleshy foot into a miniature, stiff leather basketball shoe. She's screaming as if you've suggested...

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