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The late-night angela baby search and other postpartum traps
Dear past Priya. You're sitting in the nursing chair right now at three in the morning. The glow of the screen is illuminating the dark circles under your eyes. You smell like sour milk and fenugreek. The baby is finally...
A Nurse's Guide to the Infant Holiday Wardrobe Trap
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last December holding a miniature polyester tuxedo complete with a clip-on bowtie and tiny suspenders. She fully expected my four-month-old to wear this structural engineering marvel to our family dinner. I spent five...
The Soft Play Disaster That Made Me Buy Boys Apparel For Twins
The static electricity in the ball pit at Pirate Pete’s Soft Play in Croydon was strong enough to power a small electric vehicle. I know this because my two-year-old twin daughters, Maya and Zoe, were currently trapped inside it, looking...
Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About Crochet Baby Blankets
You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by fifty dollars worth of mustard yellow yarn, crying because you dropped a stitch four rows back. I know this because I was you exactly six months ago, hugely pregnant...
An Honest Letter to Past Tom About the Best Baby Shower Gifts
I'm currently staring at a cashmere baby cardigan roughly the size of a teacup, aggressively regretting my life choices. My mate Dave’s gathering is tomorrow afternoon, and I'm writing this as a therapeutic exercise directed entirely at my past self—specifically...
The Data-Driven Dad’s Guide to Using an Online Kids Boutique
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in aisle 14 of a massive big-box store under fluorescent lights that made my corneas throb. My wife, Sarah, was holding a pair of baby jeans the size of...
Why Sustainable Kinder Kleidung Matters & How to Shop the Sale
It was 3 AM, and I was sitting on the floor of a nursery crying over a pair of newborn skinny jeans. My oldest son—who I swear was put on this earth purely to be my cautionary parenting tale—was screaming...
My Humiliating History With Kids and the Bulky Knit Sweater
It was November 2019, and I was standing outside a Trader Joe's in the freezing rain, wearing yoga pants that definitely had day-old oat milk latte spilled down the thigh. I was trying to wedge my screaming eighteen-month-old, Leo, into...
The tatu baby search that completely broke my dad brain at 2 AM
2:14 AM. The nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees. The white noise machine is pushing out a continuous loop of brown noise at precisely 42 decibels. My 11-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest, breathing 32 times a minute. I know...