The Viral Baby Pelican Meme and What We Actually Learn from Seabirds
It was 3:17 AM, and my oldest sonβwho's now five and is my daily cautionary tale of why we don't negotiate with emotional terroristsβwas screaming his head off for the fourth time that night. I was scrolling Tumblr in the...
Why We Blasted Baby Pluto To Survive The Fourth Trimester
Itβs 3:17 AM on a Tuesday in November. Iβm sitting in the driverβs seat of my husband Daveβs Honda Civic, parked securely in our own driveway with the engine idling. Iβm wearing a gray fleece bathrobe that smells aggressively like...
The Absurd Reality of High-End Baby Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with Leo, my mother sat me down at her kitchen table, tapped her coffee mug with her fingernail, and told me to only buy stark white cotton so I could bleach the absolute hell...
The Oxford Street Kids Clothes Shop Incident and Other Regrets
We were twenty minutes into a torrential downpour on Oxford Street when Twin A discovered a rack of heavily sequined, faux-leather mermaid trousers. Twin B, meanwhile, was systematically pulling the size stickers off every pair of denim jeans in a...
The Only Newborn Outfits You Actually Need (And What to Burn)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the window AC unit in our bedroom was fighting a losing battle against the Texas humidity. I was dripping in postpartum night sweats, sitting cross-legged on the rug in my mesh hospital...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
Itβs 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...
The Truth About Baby Onesies and the 3 AM Blowout Survival Guide
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a freezing Tuesday in November 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Maya's nursery wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation. My husband, Dave, was hovering near...
Buy Buy Baby Registry: What I Wish I Knew Before Building v1.0
I'm currently sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by a mountain of collapsed cardboard, trying to figure out how to process a return for a piece of modular stroller suspension that I clearly ordered in a sleep-deprived fugue state....
The Big Lie About Finding the Best Car Seat (And Surviving the Drive)
It was 98 degrees in a BuyBuyBaby parking lotβRIP to that store, honestly, I spent half my pregnancy wandering those aisles in a dazeβand I was sweating through my gray maternity leggings. You know, the ones from Target that always...