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Why 90% of cute baby clothes are complete structural disasters
It was 3:14 AM, I had a small flashlight clamped between my teeth, and I was sweating profusely while trying to line up seven asymmetrical metal snaps on a pair of corduroy infant overalls. My son, Leo, who was three...
Baby The Stars Shine Bright: Nursery Decor And Sleep Realities
Listen, it was three in the morning in my Chicago apartment and the walls were pulsing with neon green and blue nebulas. I was holding a screaming seven-month-old while a plastic dome on the dresser whirred loudly, projecting a highly...
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About Getting Your Baby to Sleep
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting frozen on the floor of the nursery, holding my breath because my knee had just popped. I knew if my oldest son, Leo, heard that tiny joint crack and...
How to Write a Baby Shower Card Without Sounding Delusional
I'm standing in the card aisle of the local Tesco, holding a pastel-yellow envelope and aggressively crossing out a pre-printed poem about 'tiny toes and heavenly woes' with a biro. The cashier is staring at me. I don't care. I'm...
Why My Wife Wanted the 1980s Baby Shalini Haircut at Midnight
At 1:14 AM on a Tuesday, my wife shoved a glowing iPhone into my face displaying a grainy 1980s photo of a child with a perfectly symmetrical, brutally blunt bowl-cut bob. I was barely conscious, trying to reboot my brain...
The unspoken truth about baby rice cereal and starting solids
My mother-in-law was hovering by the kitchen island at two in the morning, holding a cardboard box of generic infant flakes and shaking it at my husband like it was a maraca. She whispered that if we just put a...
Troubleshooting Baby Rash: A Dadβs Guide to Infant Skin Bugs
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when the flashlight from my iPhone illuminated my 11-month-old's cheek, revealing a topographic map of angry red bumps that definitely weren't there at bedtime. My wife was asleep. The baby was surprisingly chill....
What A Giant Baby Penguin Taught Me About Raising Kids
It was 3:14 AM. I know this because my eyes were burning from the glare of my phone screen, and I was pinned to the rocking chair by my six-month-old, who currently possesses the density and general shape of a...
Dear Past Me: The Ugly, Honest Truth About Useless Baby Mittens
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're standing in your sister's nursery, surrounded by a mountain of crumpled tissue paper and tiny, impossibly small socks. You're holding a little mesh bag of baby mβwait, what are these even called?...