When the 'he was molested as a baby boy polo g song' trend hit
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug right now watching your son play with a wooden block. You've got your phone in your left hand. You're about to post that video of him smearing...
The Truth About Ugly Baby Gear and Why I Stopped Caring
I was standing in the Target parking lot in mid-December, wearing black maternity leggings that were literally falling down because my postpartum body was in that weird, deflated balloon phase, and I was sobbing aggressively. Like, ugly, loud, snorting sobs....
When To Have Baby Shower: A Mom's Blunt Guide To Timing It
I was standing in the middle of Aisle 4 at Target with a registry scanner gun in my hand, sweating profusely in a maternity cardigan that was clearly lying about being breathable, when my mom called to demand a date...
When Should Babies Start Talking? A Real Mom's Messy Timeline
I was sitting cross-legged on my faded floral living room rug, aggressively thrusting a plastic cow at my nine-month-old son, Wyatt, and loudly mouthing the word "MOOO" like a deranged person. He just stared at me, blinking slowly, probably wondering...
Exactly When Does Baby Acne Go Away? A Tired Parent's Guide
I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous beige living room rug at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing maternity sweatpants that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since my water broke. Leo was exactly three weeks old and...
The agonizing wait for a tiny flutter: early pregnancy heartbeats
I was staring at the acoustic ceiling tiles in room four of my obstetrician's office, counting the little perforated dots while trying to remember how to breathe. The transvaginal ultrasound wand is nobody's friend. It's basically a plastic joystick wielded...
Panic vs reality: exactly when do babies start to talk anyway
I was sitting on the beige rug in my living room, aggressively holding a wooden block in front of my ten-month-old's face, enunciating the word block like I was teaching a hostage how to defuse a bomb. He just stared...
When Babies Pull to Stand: The Messy, Exhausted Reality
I was wearing my favorite black leggingsβthe ones with the questionable yogurt stain on the left knee that I'd just sort of given up on washing out entirelyβand holding my third cup of lukewarm coffee. It was a Tuesday at...
The Gross But Normal Truth About Your Infant's Crusty Flaky Scalp
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on your sister's absolutely hideous beige sectionalβthe exact one you told her not to buy because it shows literally every single spit-up stainβholding your brand new nephew. You're wearing those...