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A stressed father pulling a toddler away from a very confused pigeon in a London park

The Cutest Baby Animals Myth: Why Toddlers Are Wildlife Menaces

My left hand is currently clamped around the collar of a toddler who's vibrating with the intense, terrifying desire to strangle a squirrel with pure love. We're in St. James’s Park, it's raining, and I'm actively disproving the greatest myth...

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Exhausted dad staring at two screaming newborn twins on a play mat

The newborn enchanting phase is mostly just exhaustion and bodily f...

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or possibly a Thursday, and I was lying flat on my back on the living room rug, holding a black-and-white card depicting a heavily stylized badger. I was holding this badger approximately ten...

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A close up of a gateron baby kangaroo mechanical switch next to a baby pacifier

My 3AM Encounter With The Notorious Gateron Baby Kangaroo

It sounded like a particularly brittle beetle being crushed under a Wellington boot, but the sharp, piercing pain shooting directly up into my left heel suggested something far more synthetic. It was 3:17 AM. I was halfway across the living...

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A pregnant woman laughing on a sofa while avoiding terrible party activities.

Brilliant Baby Shower Game Ideas That Won't Make Guests Flee

I'm sitting on a terribly uncomfortable velvet pouf in a semi-detached house in Richmond, watching my wifeβ€”who's thirty-four weeks pregnant with twins and currently harboring the pelvic stability of a Jenga tower in an earthquakeβ€”pretend she enjoys sniffing a nappy...

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Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while one wears a plastic tiara

Raising a Baby Queen: The Brutal Truth About Royal Parenting

At precisely 4:12 on a Tuesday morning, I found myself executing a deep, entirely unironic bow to a person who had just soiled herself up to the shoulder blades. My mother-in-law had visited the day before, bearing a rhinestone-encrusted tiara...

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Baby-Led Weaninglondon dadparenthoodtoddler meals
Safely prepared air fryer baby potatoes on a highchair tray

The Truth About Air Fryer Baby Potatoes (Before and After Kids)

"Mummy, hot!" screams Twin A, pointing an accusatory sticky finger at the sleek black monstrosity occupying half our kitchen worktop. It's 5:14 PM. The witching hour. My wife is not home from work yet, I'm wearing a t-shirt that smells...

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6-month-oldbabybaby gearlondon dadmillennial dadparenting humor
A dad sitting on the grass at a London baby park with twin infants.

The Baby Park Survival Guide for Chronically Tired UK Parents

I'm currently crouched in the damp, questionable mulch of our local playground, forming a frantic human barricade around two tiny, drool-covered infants. To my left, a feral four-year-old is hurtling past wielding a half-eaten breadstick like a medieval javelin. To...

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A frustrated dad staring at a massive list of potential baby names on his phone

The brutally honest guide to choosing baby names boy edition

There's a pervasive, highly destructive lie floating around the maternity wards and NCT classes of Britain, and it goes something like this: don't worry if you haven't picked a name yet, because the second they hand him to you, you'll...

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An exhausted dad holding a swaddled infant outside a hospital MRI room

Surviving a Baby MRI: A London Dad's Letter to His Past Self

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 4:13 am, covered in what I desperately hope is just standard-issue reflux, staring at a crumpled NHS appointment letter. Baby M is asleep on your left shoulder,...

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