The Absurd Reality of Managing Your Infant's Changing Hairline
I'm standing over the bathtub at 6:45 PM with a plastic comb in one hand and a remarkably slippery, screeching two-year-old in the other, desperately trying to yank a knot out of her wet fringe. This, for the record, is...
The Complete Disaster of Buying a Baby Gate for Stairs
I'm halfway down the staircase, suspended entirely in mid-air at 2:14 in the morning, clutching a sticky bottle of strawberry Calpol in one hand and a shrieking twenty-pound toddler in the other. My left foot has just hooked firmly under...
Surviving a baby coyote encounter with jetlagged twin toddlers
It was 4:17 in the morning in suburban California, and I was losing my mind. We had foolishly decided to drag our two-year-old twin girls on a twelve-hour flight from Heathrow to Los Angeles to visit my wife's brother, operating...
The Truth About The Baby Breeza (And Why I Panicked)
"If you don't buy it, you're going to literally get a divorce," my sister-in-law announced over her lukewarm latte, dead serious, staring me right in the eyes. "You know those machines harbor invisible mold that will destroy her gut flora,"...
Why your baby prefers one side and how to fix a tight stiff neck
You're scrolling through your camera roll at two in the morning. You notice that in all four hundred photos you took this week, your baby is looking over their right shoulder. They're staring at the right wall in the crib....
The Agony of Choosing Unique Baby Girl Names at the Registry
The pen was hovering over the official birth registration form, my hand physically shaking, and not just because I was running on four minutes of broken sleep and half a stale Hobnob. We were sitting in the fluorescent purgatory of...
When can babies have water: surviving the summer hydration wars
July in Chicago is a specific kind of swampy misery. Two years ago, the air conditioning unit in our third-floor apartment wheezed its last breath right in the middle of a heatwave. I was sweating through my nursing tank top,...
Surviving the Newborn Phase: The Real Deal on Baby Rockers
It was 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was eating a cold, half-bitten Eggo waffle over the sink while my oldest, Leo, screamed like I was trying to sell him to the circus. He was exactly five weeks old,...
Wait, Are Baby Bonnets Safe? My 2 AM Infant Hair Loss Panic
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because my glowing phone screen was mocking me in the dark. I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair wearing a maternity tank top that smelled strongly of sour...