The Truth About Baby Overalls (And Why I Was Totally Wrong)
It was October 2017, and I was standing in the microscopic, dimly lit bathroom of a neighborhood cafΓ© wearing a silk blouse I had absolutely no business wearing as a new mother, staring down at my six-month-old daughter Maya who...
The Absolute Chaos of Trying to Make My Kid Wear Baby Perfume
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I'm standing over my bathroom sink in maternity leggings that havenβt been washed inβactually, I really don't want to know how many daysβfrantically scrubbing a tiny, furious newborn with a wet...
Dear Past Me: Let's Talk About Baby Constipation And The Panic
You're sitting on the edge of the bathtub right now, staring at a dry diaper under the harsh bathroom light. The exhaust fan is rattling above you. It's three in the morning, and you're exhausted, holding a sleeping infant against...
Is Your Baby Constipated? The Great 3 AM London Nappy Standoff
It was 4:14 AM on a Tuesday when Florence began her impression of an Olympic weightlifter attempting a personal best. Her face turned a shade of crimson I previously thought was reserved for London buses, her tiny knees pulled up...
The Great Baby Changing Station Lie: A Dad's Guide To Diapers
Iβm holding a wipe in my teeth, my left forearm is pinning a kicking 11-month-old to a foam pad, and Iβm desperately trying to unfold a clean diaper with two fingers. The biggest myth they sell you at the shower...
A 3AM Panic, A Baby Bush Hospital Article, And Surviving Twins
It was 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday, and the frankly demonic electronic voice of a cartoon panda driving a baby bus was the only thing preventing my left arm from going entirely numb. Zoe was wedged firmly in my...
Surviving a City Baby Bus Ride Without Losing Your Damn Mind
It was 4:17 PM on a Tuesday in November, raining sideways, and I was standing on the corner of 4th and Pike wearing a giant, puffy green coat that made me look like a highly aggressive olive. Leo was six...
The Michelin Man Dilemma: Why Puffy Winter Baby Suits Terrify Me
November 2022. It's three degrees above freezing in the Sainsburyβs car park, a uniquely British kind of damp cold that seeps directly into your bones. I'm sweating profusely through a thin t-shirt while trying to forcefully fold my six-month-old daughter,...
Why We Finally Banned Those Baby Bratz Dolls From Our London Flat
The invasion began on a damp Tuesday afternoon when my wifeβs Auntie Pam breezed into our flat, shook off her umbrella, and dropped a shockingly pink, heavily blister-packed box onto our coffee table. Florence and Matilda, our two-year-old twins who...