Magazine
The Drowsy But Awake Deception and Other Newborn Survival Lies
I was halfway through singing a deeply out-of-tune rendition of 'Wonderwall' to a tiny human who was aggressively trying to headbutt my collarbone when I realised the greatest lie ever sold to modern parents. It was 3:17 am, Twin A...
The panic over your baby's stomach size (and why I lost my mind)
I was standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile at three in the morning, wearing these horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and sheer desperation. It was November, so the house was...
Why I switched to baby's only formula (and stopped stressing)
I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room—which doubles as the inventory storage for my Etsy shop, don't judge—holding my phone in one hand and a screaming two-month-old in the other. I had just asked three different people...
The Day I Cut My Baby's Teething Necklace and Never Looked Back
I was standing over Beau’s crib holding a pair of tiny nail clippers, trying to decide if I had the nerve to trim his razor-sharp little claws while he slept, when my stomach completely dropped to the floor. He was...
What I Got Completely Wrong About Building My First Baby's Layette
I was standing in the middle of our driveway in a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I'd aggressively rolled down underneath my 38-week pregnant belly, holding a tiny, stiff denim jacket with functional metal buttons, and I was just...
When Your Brother Asks You to Help Pick a Memorial Marker
The fluorescent lighting in the monument showroom was humming at a frequency that felt like a localized cyber-attack on my nervous system. I was sitting at a faux-wood desk next to my older brother, Dave, staring at a catalog of...
How to pick a baby's first doll without an airway panic attack
My mother-in-law handed me a beautifully wrapped box last Diwali. Inside was a rigid plastic nightmare with eyelashes you could cut steak with, wearing a tiny, removable pearl necklace. She smiled warmly, called it beta's new best friend, and told...
The Honest Guide to Surviving Your Baby's Dedication Service
We were standing in the third row of padded chairs, and my daughter was aggressively gnawing on a damp church bulletin. The pastor was three sentences into a long prayer about spiritual legacy, and all I could think about was...
Why My Toxic Relationship With Funny Baby Onesies Finally Ended
Kamini auntie handed me a gift bag that smelled vaguely of mothballs and aggressively cheap vinyl. We were at my baby shower, sitting in a circle of fifty women drinking chai, and I was performing the delicate art of opening...