Magazine
The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)
I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...
The Great Baby Crib Survival Guide (And Mistakes I Actually Made)
I was sitting on the nursery floor at precisely 2:14 in the morning, a hex key clamped between my teeth, watching Twin A actively try to consume a wooden dowel while I wept quietly over a set of Swedish assembly...
Surviving the Baby Boomer Years of Grandparenting
Don't, under any circumstances, politely accept the garbage bag full of your own crusty childhood stuffed animals just because your mom has misty eyes. I did this when my oldest was born, and let me tell you, it was a...
The Truth About Reborn Baby Dolls (And Why I Bought One)
I was standing in my kitchen at 7 AM, wearing yoga pants with a mysterious white stain on the knee, aggressively stirring my third coffee of the morning, when I casually mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was thinking about...
Surviving the "Pretty Little Baby" Illusion (And Other Newborn Real...
I'm standing in the poorly lit postnatal ward of a central London hospital, staring at what looks like two furious, bruised potatoes. My wife is completely unconscious, having just performed a biological miracle that looked exactly like a medical emergency,...
Why We Need To Talk About The Nepo Baby Meaning In Parenting
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the living room floor at two in the morning with three laptops open. You're hitting refresh on the Lincoln Park cooperative preschool waitlist portal. You think if you just email...
The Truth About Expensive Bamboo Sleep Sacks And The Laundry
The biggest lie the internet tells new mothers is that spending fifty bucks on a piece of magical fabric will buy you a full night of uninterrupted sleep. It was 11 PM on a random Tuesday in 2019, I was...
Why A Tiny Green Alien Explains My Entire First Year Of Fatherhood
It's 3:14 AM, and my eleven-month-old is currently trying to shove a completely intact, unpeeled banana into his left ear while maintaining unblinking, terrifying eye contact with me. I'm wearing sweatpants I haven't washed since Tuesday and a Mandalorian t-shirt...
What I Wish I Knew Before Buying That Magical Baby Swing
It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of Target maternity leggings from 2014 that smell aggressively like sour milk, holding a lukewarm mug of yesterday’s coffee, just absolutely paralyzed while...