Magazine

A brightly coloured plastic dog toy sitting next to scattered wooden baby blocks on a rug.

Why I Completely Surrendered to the Fisher-Price Baby Era

It's 4:17 in the morning, and my bare foot has just made solid, agonising contact with the Smart Stages Puppy in the dark hallway. Without warning, an aggressively cheerful, synthetic voice belts out, "I SEE YOU!" followed immediately by that...

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Tired dad researching the dreamland baby sleep sack at 3am

Why a weighted sleep sack almost broke my parenting resolve

The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the nursery, casting long, vaguely sinister shadows over two cots containing infants who had apparently unionised and agreed to strike against sleep. It was 3:14 in the morning. My...

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A tired dad trying to drink tea while twins dismantle the living room

The myth of the peacefully occupied infant (and how to survive a bu...

I currently have one foot planted firmly on a rogue piece of Tupperware, while the other is trying to gently slide a half-eaten rice cake out from under the sofa before the dog finds it. The twins, at two years...

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The Great Naked Baby Rebellion: Surviving Twin Toddler Nudity

It's 7:14 AM, and the unmistakable sound of bare feet slapping against the cold hardwood floor echoes down the hallway. I'm standing near the radiator holding a pair of tiny corduroy trousers that cost more than my first car, watching...

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A tired father holding two identical twin baby girls in his living room

The Oh Baby Illusion And The Messy Reality Of Your First Year

I was standing in the kitchen at half-past three in the morning, staring blankly at the leftover winnie the pooh baby shower invitations still pinned to our fridge. They were beautiful, really. Pristine cardstock, muted pastel colours, a delicate little...

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Tom Selleck holding an infant next to modern safe sleep cot guidelines

Watching Three Men And A Baby At 3AM Will Not Calm Your Nerves

Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the sofa in the pitch dark. It's 3:14 AM. You have one twin asleep on your left shoulder, drooling a thick, milky substance onto your only clean t-shirt, and the...

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A tired dad looking defeated while holding a bowl of sweet potato puree.

Dear Past Tom: The chaotic truth about cooking meals for babies

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at two in the afternoon, wearing a jumper that smells faintly of sour milk, staring at a blender full of steamed sweet potato. You have a very specific,...

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A baby dog looking confused at a Kianao wooden play gym

The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins

I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...

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A tired father carrying twin girls in a park comparing their behavior to a wild primate

What a Wild Baby Chimp Taught Me About Raising Twin Toddlers

I'm currently lying flat on the rug in our London living room, staring at a patch of ceiling that desperately needs painting, while someone repeatedly hits my left shin with a plastic spatula. Twin A (Isla) is shrieking because her...

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