The Thameslink Blowout: Surviving the Baby Bodysuit Trap
We were somewhere between East Croydon and London Bridge when the smell hit. A dense, sulphuric cloud that instantly cleared the priority seating area of commuters and left me alone with a double pram. Twin A was grinning the gummy,...
The Ugly Truth About My Switch to Bio Baumwoll Leggings
I was standing in my laundry room at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night, aggressively peeling a pair of toddler pants out of the dryer lint trap, when it actually hit me. The pants were crackling. Literally throwing off visible...
Bedruckte Baby Strampler: Troubleshooting the Custom Romper
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was using my iPhone flashlight to inspect the inner thighs of my screaming eleven-month-old. Leo was wearing a custom printed "Future Coder - Loading 50%" romper that my brother had proudly...
The Truth About Funny Baby Rompers When You Have Twins
The left leg is pinned down, the right leg is currently bicycle-kicking my jaw, and I'm staring at a bright yellow chest piece that boldly proclaims, "Ich schreie nicht, ich bestelle Essen" (I'm not crying, I'm ordering food). It's 3:42...
The Great Dance Recital Rash and Why I Burned That Nylon Bodysuit
We were wedged in the stall of the tiny, non-air-conditioned bathroom at Miss Patty's School of Dance, and my four-year-old was screaming like I was actively peeling off her actual skin. Lily had just finished the dress rehearsal for her...
Mein großes Garn-Desaster: Die richtige Wolle für die Babydecke
Es war drei Uhr nachts an einem schwülen Augusttag. Ich war im achten Monat schwanger mit meinem Ältesten – der heute übrigens mein wandelndes Warnschild für so ziemlich jede Erziehungsentscheidung ist. Ich saß auf dem Fußboden meines völlig überhitzten Wohnzimmers...
Surviving the Floppy Head Phase With a Wrap-Style Baby Outfit
I'm sweating entirely through my gray t-shirt in Room 402 of Legacy Emanuel hospital. My daughter is exactly 36 hours old, and I'm holding a piece of yellow cotton with a neck hole that looks roughly the size of a...
The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
Why I Have a Love Hate Relationship With Newborn Tights With Feet
Sitting in the back pew of First Baptist, sweating completely through my holiday sweater while my three-month-old oldest, Tucker (who's basically the reason I've gray hair at thirty-one), screamed his head off during Silent Night. Why? Because it was a...