Surviving The Absolute Chaos Of The First Year With My Baby
3:14 AM. I'm holding a phone torch in my teeth because the main bulb in the nursery just popped with the sound of a small gunshot, and I'm currently elbow-deep in what can only be described as a biological incident....
Surviving the Laundry: A Real Guide to Newborn Baby Clothes
I'm currently staring at a laundry basket overflowing with tiny, mustard-yellow stained garments, drinking a cup of coffee that went cold somewhere around eight this morning. Between packing up orders for my Etsy shop and keeping my toddler from feeding...
What A Celebrity Circus Taught Me About My Blended Family
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're sitting on the laundry room floor right now, scraping crusty oatmeal off a pair of toddler jeans with your thumbnail while hiding from your own kids. The Etsy shop alerts keep pinging on...
Why I Threw Out My First Baby’s Clothes for Organic Cotton
I was sitting on the floor of my Texas laundry room last Tuesday, elbow-deep in a plastic storage bin labeled "0-6 Months," when I pulled out a stiff, neon-orange "Daddy's Little Monster" onesie I bought for my oldest kid five...
The reality of bringing your preemie baby home from the NICU
The hospital sliding doors open and the winter wind hits your face. You're holding a plastic bucket seat containing a human the size of a standard bag of flour. They told you the discharge paperwork was clear and you could...
Why I Quit Sketchy Parking Lot Meetups For Rebel Baby Gear
I was standing behind a deserted strip mall somewhere between Waco and Austin, sweating entirely through my favorite maternity shirt, about to hand a complete stranger a wad of cash for a high chair that smelled faintly of sour milk...
My 3 AM Battle with the Solly Baby: 15 Feet of Fabric vs Dad
Before my son arrived, everyone had a totally conflicting theory about how I was supposed to carry him around. My sister-in-law told me to just buy a canvas backpack thing with heavy plastic buckles and strap him to my chest...
Why "The Babys" Sleep Rules Broke Me (And What Really Worked)
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM wearing a gray maternity bra that smelled aggressively like sour milk and desperation. My husband, Dave, was asleep—or pretending to be asleep, the bastard—while I was furiously typing misspelled medical queries...
The Tiffany Trump Baby Reality Check: Postpartum Is Just Messy
I was elbow-deep in a diaper blowout at three in the morning when I first saw the announcement. I was wiping zinc oxide off my elbow, trying not to wake my husband, just blindly scrolling my feed. That was when...