How to Write a Baby Shower Card Without Sounding Delusional
I'm standing in the card aisle of the local Tesco, holding a pastel-yellow envelope and aggressively crossing out a pre-printed poem about 'tiny toes and heavenly woes' with a biro. The cashier is staring at me. I don't care. I'm...
Why My Wife Wanted the 1980s Baby Shalini Haircut at Midnight
At 1:14 AM on a Tuesday, my wife shoved a glowing iPhone into my face displaying a grainy 1980s photo of a child with a perfectly symmetrical, brutally blunt bowl-cut bob. I was barely conscious, trying to reboot my brain...
The unspoken truth about baby rice cereal and starting solids
My mother-in-law was hovering by the kitchen island at two in the morning, holding a cardboard box of generic infant flakes and shaking it at my husband like it was a maraca. She whispered that if we just put a...
Troubleshooting Baby Rash: A Dad’s Guide to Infant Skin Bugs
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when the flashlight from my iPhone illuminated my 11-month-old's cheek, revealing a topographic map of angry red bumps that definitely weren't there at bedtime. My wife was asleep. The baby was surprisingly chill....
What A Giant Baby Penguin Taught Me About Raising Kids
It was 3:14 AM. I know this because my eyes were burning from the glare of my phone screen, and I was pinned to the rocking chair by my six-month-old, who currently possesses the density and general shape of a...
Dear Past Me: The Ugly, Honest Truth About Useless Baby Mittens
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're standing in your sister's nursery, surrounded by a mountain of crumpled tissue paper and tiny, impossibly small socks. You're holding a little mesh bag of baby m—wait, what are these even called?...
The Messy Truth About Singing Your Baby to Sleep Every Night
I'm currently sitting on my back porch in the middle of nowhere Texas, trying to untangle a massive spool of macrame cord for an Etsy order while my youngest is strapped to my chest, completely passed out. But getting him...
The Truth About Baby Ladybugs (And When Your Kid Eats One)
I was sitting on our patchy backyard lawn in my stained grey sweatpants, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three times since 6 AM, when Maya ate her first bug. She was about eight months old, right...
The Honest Truth About Switching to Neutral Baby Clothing Basics
I'm standing in my laundry room right now, staring at a hot pink, tulle-skirted monstrosity that says "Daddy's Little Princess" in scratchy sequins. My oldest daughter wore it exactly once. She screamed for forty-five minutes straight until her face was...