Taylor Swift And Baby That's Show Business For You: A Mom's Take
There's this massive, steaming pile of a myth out there that the second they put a squirming, screaming newborn on your chest in the hospital, your brain just instantly deletes all pop culture knowledge to make room for the lyrics...
Hudson Baby Bourbon: The Nursery Mixup and Parenting Nightcaps
Listen. Don't show up to my cousin's baby shower in Naperville with a bottle of 92-proof craft whiskey just because you typed the registry name into your phone too fast. I've seen a thousand wild things during my shifts on...
How Do People Abadon Babies? A Letter To Myself
Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's 2:14 AM. You're sitting on the cold, weirdly sticky tile of the upstairs bathroom floor. You're wearing Dave's gray Villanova sweatpants—the ones with the literal hole in the left knee that you keep...
Goro and Tropi Blowjob Baby: A Toddler Internet Safety Nightmare
It was 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the flat was freezing because our boiler has the temperament of an aging rock star. I was standing in the kitchen, staring intensely at the kettle, willing the water to boil through...
How a Tiny Mola Fish Baby Fixed My Sustainable Parenting Guilt
It was 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing Dave’s old college sweatpants backwards because the dog had thrown up on mine. I was standing in the middle of the kitchen, clutching yesterday’s lukewarm coffee in a chipped...
Troubleshooting Baby Lip Ties: Why We Decided to Skip the Laser
At 3:14 AM on a Tuesday during month two, I was sitting in the dark glow of my dual monitors, logging our daughter's nursing "click" frequency into a Google Sheet. Click. Swallow. Click. Cry. Maya was in the bedroom, crying...
Why Buying Lil Baby Concert Tickets For a Baby is a Bad Idea
It was 9:15 PM in section 204 of the arena. My phone was open to a decibel-reading app I had downloaded in a panic in the parking lot, and the screen was just flashing the word "DANGEROUS" in bright red...
The kriss_baby_ leaks webcam scare: Why I tossed our monitor
My husband was standing in the hallway in his underwear at two in the morning, aggressively poking the back of our internet router with a bent paperclip while swearing under his breath. I was sitting on the floor of the...
How To Survive the Newborn Phase Without Losing Your Damn Mind
So I'm standing in my kitchen at like 6:15 in the morning, holding Leo who was maybe three weeks old at the time, wearing a pair of Dave's old flannel pajama pants and a maternity tank top that smelled profoundly...