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A sleep-deprived dad holding a teething panda toy while staring blankly

Tommy Richman, 3AM Teething, and the Death of My Dignity

It was 3:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time that doesn't actually exist outside of the newborn bubble or the queue for a dreadful kebab in your early twenties. I was standing in the kitchen in a pair of stained...

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90s nostalgiaearly developmenthumorlate nightscreen timetwin dad
A tired father holding a wooden play gym while a toddler stares at a smartphone screen

Uncle Baby Billy: How my toddler found HBO at 3am

It's precisely 3:14 in the morning, a time I'm intimately familiar with because it's the exact hour the ambient temperature in our London flat drops just enough to offend my twin daughters. Florence is currently wedged sideways across my chest,...

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Why the happy baby pose saved my structurally ruined spine

When my lower back finally gave out, I received three distinct pieces of advice from three very different people. My mother-in-law told me I needed to sleep on a plank of pine wood because that’s what her uncle did in...

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A very tired dad staring blankly at a wall of infant milk cans in a grocery store aisle.

The Great Formula Panics: What I Learned About Feeding My Kid

It was 4:12 AM, I was holding a screaming, thrashing newborn, and my laptop screen was glowing in the dark with a massive spreadsheet titled Formula_Matrix_v4_FINAL.xlsx. My wife walked into the kitchen, looked at the screen, looked at my bloodshot...

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baby brezza bottle washer pro on a messy kitchen counter

Dear me from 6 months ago: The Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro

Dear me from six months ago, You're currently standing at the kitchen sink. It's, like, 3:14 AM. You're wearing those gray Target sweatpants that have a mysterious crusty spot on the left knee and your hair is in a knot...

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Stressed mom looking at a sticky bottle of pink baby benadryl liquid

The 2 AM Baby Benadryl Panic and What I Actually Did Instead

It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in February. The wind off Lake Michigan is rattling the windowpanes of our Chicago apartment, and my toddler is sitting on the bathroom counter looking like a lightly boiled lobster. We had tried a...

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Sleep deprived dad holding a baby in a dim nursery while looking at his phone

Doomscrolling Paternity Drama: A Dad's Guide to Co-Parenting

It's exactly 3:14 AM. The nursery thermostat reads 68.4 degrees, which I know because I check the data monitor compulsively whenever the floorboards creak. My eleven-month-old son is currently asleep on my chest, dead weight and drooling onto my collarbone....

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baby gearlate nightmotherhoodorganic baby clothesparenting humoursafe sleep
A spilled cup of coffee on a kitchen counter next to a smartphone showing a celebrity baby news headline

My Coffee Disaster and the Wild Reality of Sixty-Year-Old Parenting

My feet were literally sticking to the linoleum. It's 6:12 AM on a Tuesday, I'm wearing Mark's faded college hoodie that smells permanently like old milk and vague regret, and Maya is aggressively trying to shove a plastic triceratops into...

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Babyfatherhoodhumourlate nightParenting Guidesurvival
Tired dad holding an awake baby looking at a smartphone screen in a dark room

Sparkle Megan Baby Daddy Drama: A Tired Dad's Honest Take

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old son, Leo, was currently undergoing some sort of mysterious firmware update that apparently required him to aggressively slap my collarbone while wide awake in the dark. My wife, Sarah, was...

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