My Foolproof Baby Back Ribs Recipe for Very Exhausted Parents
It's 5:14 PM on a Thursday and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a stained gray sweatshirt I haven't washed since Tuesday, staring at a massive slab of raw pork while Leo, who's four and currently believes he's a velociraptor,...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Getting a Baby Axolotl
It was 7:00 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen trying to pour coffee while my four-year-old oldest son shoved a piece of construction paper directly into my line of sight. On it was a crude...
Raising An Asian Baby In Rural Texas Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was standing in my kitchen staring at my oldest—who's now five and a walking, talking cautionary tale about what happens when you give a toddler unchecked access to YouTube—when he was just a screaming newborn. My own mother was...
Surviving the Heartbreak Nobody Wants to Talk About
Don't bring a grieving mother a tuna casserole and tell her that God just needed another angel. I was standing in my kitchen, wearing the same stained sweatpants I’d had on for three days, holding a lukewarm Pyrex dish while...
Raising Baby Kittens With Kids: The Blunt Unfiltered Truth
I'm standing in my kitchen at 3:14 in the morning, wearing yesterday's yoga pants with a questionable crusty stain on the knee, holding a bottle smaller than my own thumb. My oldest kid, who swore up and down on his...
Surviving the "Don't You Want Me Baby" Guilt Trip From Relatives
We were sitting in our Portland living room on exactly Day 12 of parenthood when the first breach of our perimeter occurred. My wife Sarah was exhausted, practically vibrating with postpartum adrenaline, and our daughter was finally asleep on her...
The brutal truth about catering for heavily pregnant women
At my own party, I stood at the edge of my sister-in-law's patio staring at a three-foot wooden board covered in prosciutto, unpasteurized brie, and what looked like homemade mayonnaise dip. My mother-in-law nudged my elbow. Beta, you need to...
Dear Me: The Unvarnished Truth About Raising a Baby Kitten
Dear Sarah from six months ago. You're currently standing in your kitchen at 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those grey Target sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, holding a damp cardboard box. Your four-year-old, Leo,...
The Truth About the Baby Boomers Years and Grandparenting
I was standing over the kitchen sink, scraping congealed mac and cheese off a plastic plate with my fingernail, when I heard my mom tell my oldest, "Here you go, baby boo, let's just put a little extra blanket in...