The Ultimate Dad’s Guide to What Baby Oil Is Actually Used For
I was sitting on the floor of our living room, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to peel a heavy-duty waterproof band-aid off my eleven-month-old's thigh without triggering a level-five meltdown. He had scraped his leg on a rogue piece of...
Raising Kids With True Grit: A Normal Mom’s Take on Nepotism Babies
Three years ago, I marched right into the office of our local Methodist preschool, smiled at the director, and shamelessly dropped my grandmother’s name to bump my oldest kid to the top of their two-year-long waitlist. I didn't even blink....
The absolute panic of your newborn's soft spot (and why it's fine)
I was sweating profusely in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, holding a tiny striped jumper like it was an unexploded World War II bomb I had just unearthed in the garden. Twin A lay on the changing mat, completely...
Siberian Husky Baby Survival Guide for Clueless New Parents
I'm currently looking at a spreadsheet I built at three in the morning. It tracks the decibel level of my 11-month-old's cry plotted against the response time of our 60-pound sled dog, Apollo. Apollo is currently staring at a blank...
Why The Scorsese Baby Daddy Trend Is An Actual Parenting Trap
I was sitting on the aggressively beige tile floor of a suburban Target bathroom in 2016, wearing Lululemon leggings that definitely had a crusty salsa stain on the left thigh, staring at a plastic stick I had just peed on....
Rihanna A AP Rocky Third Baby: The Madness of Three Under Four
It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was attempting to pry a half-sucked rice cake from the iron grip of twin A, while twin B was vigorously trying to feed a wet wipe to the cat. My phone...
What The Rick Ross Baby Mama Drama Taught Me About Co-Parenting
My mother-in-law insists that any dispute with an ex should be handled over a stiff cup of Earl Grey and a passive-aggressive biscuit, while the bloke who delivers our Amazon parcels reckons you should just block their number entirely and...
Dear Past Me: Surviving The Ramsey Baby Steps With Kids
Dear Sarah from last October, It's 11:42 PM on a Tuesday and you're sitting on the sticky kitchen linoleum right in front of the dishwasher. You're wearing those black yoga pants with the dried yogurt stain on the left knee,...
How That Viral 1960s Pretty Little Baby Song Saved My Sanity
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the rocking chair in Leo's nursery was squeaking exactly on the downbeat of my mounting panic. I was wearing a gray nursing tank top that smelled faintly of sour milk and utter...