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Dear Past Sarah: Stop Doing Wake-Up Math and Buy the Merino Bag
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in the doorway of Leo's room at 2:14 AM. You're wearing Dave's stained Villanova hoodie—the one with the mysterious bleach mark on the sleeve—and you're holding a mug of French...
Surviving the Night Sweats: A Dad’s Guide to Bamboo Blankets
It was 2:14 AM in the middle of a freak Portland August heatwave, and the Nanit camera monitor above the crib was glowing with a red 78-degree warning. My son, who was about eight weeks old at the time, was...
My Sweaty Journey to Find the Best Cooling Blanket for Babies
It's three in the morning in mid-July. The ancient window AC unit in my Chicago apartment is rattling like a dying lawnmower, and my toddler is plastered to my left side. He feels like a baked potato fresh out of...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Actually Useful New Baby Gifts
I'm staring at a pair of infant converse sneakers. They're the size of a jalapeño. They have actual, functional laces. Someone spent real money on these at a baby shower last weekend, and I know exactly where they're going to...
Why Thick Baby PJs Are Ruining Your Sleep (And What Actually Works)
It was 2:14 AM and I was standing in the hallway wearing those gray Target sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved so many times it tasted like warm pennies....
The 3AM Zipper Panic and Finding the Perfect Baby Schlafanzug
It's 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday in late November, and I'm sitting in total darkness on the floor of the nursery trying to match up what feels like forty-seven tiny metal poppers on a sleepsuit while Twin A...
Why the Toddler Sleep Sack is the Only Way We Survive Bedtime
It was 2:13 AM on a random Tuesday when I heard the unmistakable, bone-chilling thump coming from the nursery down the hall. I dropped the Etsy shop packing tape I was holding, sprinted down the hardwood floor expecting the absolute...
The 3AM Zipper Wars: An Exhausted Dad’s Guide to Baby Pajamas
It was November 2022, the radiator in our drafty Victorian flat was clanking like a dying tractor, and I was holding two identical, screaming infants who felt exactly like hot water bottles wrapped in synthetic fleece. My wife was furiously...
Dear Past Marcus: A Debugging Guide to Dressing Your Infant
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago: I can see you right now. You're standing over the changing table at 3:17 AM in our freezing Portland apartment, sweating profusely while holding a squirming, screaming five-month-old, trying to figure out how...