Surviving the baby markt: what I bought versus what actually works
The screen brightness is turned all the way down to a sliver, but it still burns my retinas. It's 3:14 in the morning. I'm trapped under a sleeping ten-pound dictator who will wake up if I shift my left leg...
Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About That Graco Baby Swing
It's 2:14 AM. You're sitting on the edge of the guest bed in your milk-stained maternity sweatpants, desperately scrolling the internet with your phone brightness turned all the way down so you don't wake the toddler in the next room....
Did Rihanna Have Her Baby? A Dad's Take on Celebrity Parenting
It was 2:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to breach my window seals, and my eleven-month-old was staring at the ceiling fan like it held the secrets to the universe. We were deep in the middle of some...
Why I Stopped Trusting the Box My Baby Rocking Chair Came In
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively like sour milk and Dave’s oversized college sweatpants, staring at this beige, gently vibrating infant seat...
Decoding Baby Registry Must Haves Without Crashing Your Brain
It's precisely 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, my mechanical keyboard is clacking, my dual-monitor setup is glowing with the intensity of a thousand suns, and I've exactly forty-seven browser tabs open trying to parse the flow rate variations of infant...
Why I Use Baby Quip Instead of Hauling Cheap Travel Gear Everywhere
I was standing at Terminal D in DFW, sweating straight through my favorite t-shirt while my oldest—who's basically a walking cautionary tale at this point—tried to ride the luggage carousel like it was a carnival attraction. My husband was aggressively...
Confessions of a Clueless Runner: The Truth About Baby Joggers
I'm three miles deep into a caliche dirt road in rural Texas, sweat pooling in places I didn't know could sweat, pushing a thirty-dollar plastic umbrella stroller that sounds like a shopping cart with a square wheel. My oldest son,...
The Brutally Honest Guide to Buying a Playpen for Babies
My mom texted me "just put the babi in a pen so you can work!" at the exact same moment a twenty-two-year-old Instagram parenting coach popped up on my feed with a beige infographic about how "restrictive containers stifle gross...
The Three Wise Men and a Baby Cast: Hollywood Myths and Plaster
It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm watching three perfectly groomed Canadian actors attempt to figure out how a nappy works while my left shoulder slowly absorbs a terrifying volume of pureed carrot. I'm rewatching the Hallmark holiday juggernaut Three...