Where Do Babies Come From: Surviving The Ultimate Toddler Question
We're idling on the Kennedy expressway, somewhere near the loop, when the question hits the back of my head like a stray wooden block. She's pointing out the window at a heavily pregnant woman walking a golden retriever. She looks...
Searching For The Real Love Baby Connection At Eleven Months
My mother-in-law told me that if I pick him up every single time he cries, I'm going to completely ruin his operating system permanently. My barista, entirely unprompted while handing me my third espresso of the morning, told me that...
Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields and the Myth of Normal Parenting
I'm currently paused on a frame of a 1980s television talk show host asking an 11-year-old child an incredibly inappropriate question about her body. The harsh glow of the TV is illuminating the half-empty bottles on our coffee table, my...
What Being a Baby Mama Actually Means Off the Internet
I was sitting on the floor of my guest bedroom—which I generously call my "Etsy shipping headquarters"—with packing tape stuck to my thigh, listening to a 90s hip-hop playlist, when a song came on loudly dropping the phrase "baby mama."...
What the Baby Goku Parenting Debate Actually Means for Us
The blue light from the television was illuminating a fresh patch of spit-up on the couch cushions. It was two in the morning. My husband was sitting cross-legged on the rug, and our toddler was wedged between his knees, furiously...
The Literal Baby Don't Hurt Me Phase Of Parenting Is Actually Wild
It was a random Tuesday at exactly 6:14 AM, and I was wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh that my husband absolutely hates. I had exactly half a sip of lukewarm French...
Before And After Nursing School: The Truth About Baby Reflexes
I dropped a metal travel mug on our hardwood floor at two in the morning. The sound echoed like a gunshot through our cramped Chicago apartment. My two-week-old son, who was dead asleep on his back in the bassinet, violently...
When Your Infant Becomes a Baby Rhino: A Hip Dysplasia Guide
I'm currently sitting on my living room rug surrounded by a mountain of expensive zippered cotton, trying to figure out how to shove a piece of rigid medical plastic inside a sleep sack without waking a sleeping infant or snapping...
The Truth About Infant Photos: From Contrast Cards to AI Scraping
The phone on my nightstand vibrates at 4:12 in the morning. The screen lights up the dark room with another WhatsApp message from my mom, reading simply, "send more babi images." She always mistypes baby as babi, mostly because her...