Magazine
What I Wish I Knew Before Knitting With Bernat Baby Blanket Yarn
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently standing in aisle four of the craft store. Itβs raining outside, youβre wearing those black leggings with the mystery yogurt stain on the left thigh, and you're staring blindly at a mountain...
Why the "Bad Baby" Myth is Ruining Your Peace of Mind
I was sitting on the floor of my pantry, wedged between a fifty-pound bag of flour for my Etsy shop baking orders and the dog food bin, eating a stale strawberry Pop-Tart while my firstborn screamed his lungs out in...
The great baby toys invasion: A survival guide for tired parents
It's 4:13 in the morning, and I've just stepped barefoot onto a hard plastic sheep that immediately responded by bleating the alphabet into the dark, silent hallway. I froze, my foot hovering above the floorboards, waiting for the inevitable twin...
My kid turned into a highlighter (and other early release bugs)
It was day three of parenthood, and I was holding my naked son up to a rain-streaked Portland window like Rafiki presenting Simba, convinced that forty-five seconds of overcast Pacific Northwest UV radiation would magically fix his liver. My wife,...
Surviving Your First Baby Xray Without Completely Losing Your Mind
It was a Tuesday at 9 AM, and I was sitting in a freezing radiology waiting room wearing yesterdayβs leggings and a nursing bra that smelled faintly of sour milk. I was staring blankly at a poster of a cartoon...
The Hilarious Truth About Baby Vans: Stiff Shoes & Sprinter Dreams
It was a Tuesday at precisely 10:14 AM. I was wearing leggings that definitely had dried sweet potato puree encrusted on the left thigh, clutching my third iced oat milk latte of the week. Leo was about eight months old,...
Baby Ultrasound Expectations vs. Reality: A Nervous Dad's Guide
The worst Tuesday of my entire life started in a strip mall between a discount vape shop and a dry cleaner that smelled aggressively like harsh chemicals. My wife, Sarah, was 28 weeks pregnant, and her sister had gifted us...
Why your baby hates bath time and the truth about baby towels
My mother told me to just wrap him in one of our old faded bath sheets because they're the softest things in the house. The lactation consultant at the clinic said I should only use pure woven muslin imported from...
Surviving the Nightly Baby Toothbrush Wrestling Match in Sweatpants
It's 7:42 PM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing a pair of gray fleece sweatpants that haven't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration. My left knee is firmly but gently pinning an eight-month-old Maya to the...