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A tired mother looking at a glowing smartphone while a toddler sits nearby

Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now

The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...

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A tired parent holding a baby while looking longingly at their sleeping partner

I Want You To Be Mine Again Baby: Fetty Wap & Postpartum Love

Before the twins were born, I made the fatal error of asking people for advice on what to play for them audibly. My mum, firmly rooted in the pseudo-science of the late nineties, insisted that playing classical symphonies would instantly...

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Exhausted dad holding twin girls next to ruined DIY milestone outfits

Taylor Swift Baby: Surviving Pop Culture With Twins

I was quite literally elbow-deep in silver sequins and non-toxic fabric glue at a quarter to eleven on a Tuesday night when my wife casually dropped the magazine on the kitchen island. The headline was screaming about the latest Travis...

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Mom sitting on living room floor looking tired while toddler walks away

Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama

The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...

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Exhausted dad staring at a smartphone screen in a messy living room.

The Absolute Truth About What A Baby Booter Actually Means

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged between a cot and a towering pile of unsorted laundry, typing with my less dominant thumb while one of the twins uses my left shoulder as a surprisingly absorbent drool rag. I'm simply trying to...

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A woman looking stressed at her phone while holding a coffee cup

The Truth About Taylor Swift and the Pressure on Women to Have Kids

When I was twenty-nine, I was sitting in a aggressively air-conditioned Starbucks wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since Tuesday, crying into a venti iced macchiato because I had just received three completely conflicting pieces...

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A deeply tired father holding two identical baby outfits while staring at his phone.

Did Jessica Sanchez Finally Have Her Baby? A Postpartum Warning

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of our terribly drafted London flat, attempting to assemble a twin nursing pillow that looks like a life raft, while your wife glowers at you from her birthing...

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Sarah holding a crying newborn baby while sitting on a messy living room couch

Is Cry Baby John Waters For Kids? (Plus Actual Infant Crying)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was pretty sure I was hallucinating. Leo was six weeks old and screaming like I was actively harming him, his tiny face turning a shade of purple I didn't know existed...

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Stressed mom spilling lukewarm coffee in the driver seat of a minivan

Why I Googled the Brooklyn Baby Lyrics in the Minivan Today

Tuesday, 8:14 AM. I'm sitting in the school drop-off line wearing black leggings that haven't actually seen a yoga studio since approximately 2019. There's a crusty white stain on my left knee that I'm aggressively ignoringβ€”it's either toothpaste or yogurt,...

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