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A slightly terrified London dad pushing twin toddlers in a bucket swing over a damp lawn

The terrifying physics of your first garden baby swing setup

I'm standing in our damp, aggressively overgrown London garden, holding twenty feet of braided nylon rope and staring at a branch on our neighbor's encroaching oak tree, while Florenceβ€”who's supposed to be sitting quietly on a blanketβ€”attempts to eat a...

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Tired British dad holding twin girls after their infant immunisations at the clinic

Exactly what vaccines do babies get? A twin dad's messy guide

We were sitting in the waiting room of our local GP surgery, surrounded by faded posters from 1998 warning about the dangers of excessive screen time, which felt deeply ironic given I was desperately playing a brightly coloured cartoon on...

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Babydevelopmenthealthmilestonesmillennial
Close up of a tired father looking at his baby's slate grey eyes

The Unvarnished Truth About Your Infant's Shifting Eye Colour

Dear Tom from eighteen months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery at three in the morning, holding an iPhone torch uncomfortably close to Maya's face to see if her irises have developed any gold flecks, while...

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6-month-old8-month-old9-month-oldbaby feedingmilestonesparenting humor
Tired mom drinking coffee while watching her baby try to hold a milk bottle on a playmat.

When Do Babies Finally Learn To Hold Their Own Bottle?

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a stained College of Charleston t-shirt that smelled heavily of sour milk and sheer exhaustion. Leo, who was about five months old at the time, was doing this infuriating...

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A bewildered dad watching his infant practicing tummy time on a playmat.

When Will My Baby Actually Roll Over? A Dad's Data Log

It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday when the firmware update clearly hit. I rubbed my eyes, squinted at the grainy night-vision feed on the baby monitor, and froze. My previously stationary, log-like child was suddenly facedown in his...

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A young child smiling with a missing front baby tooth

The Absolute Chaos of When Do Baby Teeth Fall Out (And What to Do)

It was 7:12 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a Honeycrisp apple that looked like it belonged in a crime scene. Maya, who's seven but was acting like she was being actively abducted by aliens, was standing...

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4-month-oldearly developmentmilestonesnew bornparenting humorsensory play
Mom holding a crying baby in a rocking chair at night while singing a lullaby

Why Nursery Rhymes For Babies Actually Work Better Than White Noise

It was 3:17 AM in the dead heat of a Texas July, the cicadas were screaming outside my window, and my oldest son Liam was screaming even louder right directly into my collarbone. I had sour milk on my shirt,...

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baby developmentmilestonesmillennialsmotherhoodpopculture
Jess holding a wooden baby gym while her infant plays on a blanket.

What Being a Baby Mama Actually Means Off the Internet

I was sitting on the floor of my guest bedroomβ€”which I generously call my "Etsy shipping headquarters"β€”with packing tape stuck to my thigh, listening to a 90s hip-hop playlist, when a song came on loudly dropping the phrase "baby mama."...

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Baby-Led Weaningfeedinghealthmilestonessafe
Messy baby eating a roast dinner without salty baby gravy

The Truth About Baby Gravy: Why Sunday Roasts Need a Rewrite

It's 2019. Sunday roast at my mother-in-law's house. Maya is eight months old and currently mashing a piece of dry chicken into her highchair tray with the kind of intense focus usually reserved for defusing bombs. My mother-in-law, bless her,...

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