Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew About The Acutane Baby Risk
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of the Honda Pilot outside the dermatologist's office. It's pouring rain, you've a lukewarm, half-empty oat milk latte leaking dangerously close to the gear shift, and...
The Terrifying Truth About Accutane Babies And My Pregnancy
It was 2018, I was 28 weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting completely frozen on my bathroom floor. I was wearing Mark's ancient, oversized college t-shirtβthe grey one with a completely unidentifiable stain near the collar that I...
Is A Baby Gold Bracelet Safe? My 3AM Troubleshooting Guide
Maya's mom arrived from Chicago at 7:14 PM, exactly twelve minutes after we finally managed to shut down the baby's waking cycle. She dropped her bags in the hallway and immediately handed me a velvet box that weighed absolutely nothing....
Why I threw our smart baby heart monitor in the trash
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland windows, when the klaxon sounded. It wasn't a gentle beep. It was the specific, terrifying frequency of a submarine dive alarm broadcasting directly from my nightstand. My wife...
When A Therapy App And A Literal Baby Manatee Saved My Sanity
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's ancient Boston College hoodie. The one that has a crusty, mysterious stain on the left cuff that could be hummus, could be dried...
The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase
I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...
Why the Baby Brianna story changed how I debug dad burnout
My Apple Watch buzzed my wrist at 3:14 AM to congratulate me on starting an elliptical workout, which was objectively hilarious because I was actually just standing completely still in my kitchen in Portland, vibrating with a level of stress...
What a Netflix Stalker Taught Me About Toddler Firewalls
The blue glow of the television is casting long shadows against the living room wall, and I'm completely frozen. It's 2:13 AM. My son is currently asleep on my chest, a thin line of drool connecting his cheek to my...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Baby Rudin And Math Milestones
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen floor in Leo's old oversized Ninja Turtles hoodie, aggressively googling baby Rudin while eating stale Goldfish crackers out of a plastic bag at 2:14 AM. You're...