The Chinese Gender Calendar Trap: A Letter to Past Me at 3 AM
Dear Tom from six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs toilet at 2:13 AM, the harsh bathroom light burning your retinas, holding a plastic Tesco pregnancy test...
Late Night Googling: Cheer Up Baby Full Movie and Other Tactics
The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the living room, and it was aggressively illuminating the spit-up crusted on my left shoulder. It was 2:14 AM. My husband was snoring in the bedroomβa sound that made...
A letter to my pregnant self about newborn clutter and tiny things
I'm writing this to you from the floor of the nursery. It's 2 a.m. in Chicago, the radiator is hissing, and I'm staring at a pile of miniature laundry that somehow multiplies when I blink. You're probably six months pregnant...
Why the "Bad Baby" Myth is Ruining Your Peace of Mind
I was sitting on the floor of my pantry, wedged between a fifty-pound bag of flour for my Etsy shop baking orders and the dog food bin, eating a stale strawberry Pop-Tart while my firstborn screamed his lungs out in...
My kid turned into a highlighter (and other early release bugs)
It was day three of parenthood, and I was holding my naked son up to a rain-streaked Portland window like Rafiki presenting Simba, convinced that forty-five seconds of overcast Pacific Northwest UV radiation would magically fix his liver. My wife,...
Surviving Your First Baby Xray Without Completely Losing Your Mind
It was a Tuesday at 9 AM, and I was sitting in a freezing radiology waiting room wearing yesterdayβs leggings and a nursing bra that smelled faintly of sour milk. I was staring blankly at a poster of a cartoon...
Why My Humiliating First Attempt At A Baby Sling Made Me Cry
It was exactly 4:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum, sobbing quietly while trying to maneuver twenty feet of stretchy grey fabric around my torso. Maya was exactly three weeks old, screaming...
The Truth About Your Newborn's Baby Skull and Spooky X-Rays
It was 2 AM, the only light in the room was the glowing screen of my phone, and I was holding a three-day-old Tucker while panic-typing "is my newborn an alien" into a search bar. I was staring at his...
What the Megan Fox baby tells us about surviving your late thirties
When my wife fell pregnant with our twins, her aunt cornered me at a family dinner to insist we buy a wipe-warmer because cold wet wipes supposedly cause long-term emotional damage. The very next day, my mate Ianβwho has three...