Magazine

A tired father attempting to feed twin babies who are covered in orange purΓ©e

The great purΓ©e delusion: Surviving the transition to solids

I'm staring at forty-two perfectly uniform, ice-cube-sized blocks of steamed organic courgette, all painstakingly decanted into a premium silicone freezer tray at one in the morning. This was my Everest. I had spent an entire Sunday boiling, blending, and portioning...

Read more

A tired father staring suspiciously at a glowing formula machine in a dark kitchen.

Surviving the Midnight Baby Brezza Machine Calibration Panic

At exactly 3:14 AM, the kitchen floor tiles felt roughly like the surface of Hoth, and I found myself staring with murderous intent at a blinking red light on a piece of plastic that cost more than my first car....

Read more

A visibly exhausted dad wiping spaghetti off a wall while twin toddlers hold silicone spoons.

The Great Spaghetti Bolognese Incident and Feeding Set Truths

There's a very specific, hollow sound that a ceramic bowl makes when it hits a hardwood floor after being launched from the terrifying altitude of an Ikea highchair. It's a sound that instantly ages you five years. It was a...

Read more

A pile of stained newborn bibs sitting next to a half-empty coffee cup on a messy kitchen table.

How Many Bibs Do I Need For A Newborn? The Spitty Truth

It was Thanksgiving 2017, and Maya was exactly six weeks old. We were at my mother-in-law’s house, which is basically a museum of white linen and breakable objects, and I was wearing a rust-colored silk blouse because I was, like,...

Read more

A half-eaten bowl of spaghetti in a silicone suction bowl stuck to a messy tray.

The Truth About Suction Bowls for Toddlers (And What Actually Works)

It was 6:13 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing a grey college sweatshirt that used to belong to my husband Dave but was now permanently stained with what I desperately hoped was just pureed sweet potato. Maya,...

Read more

First-time dad troubleshooting a silicone baby bowl on a high chair tray

A Letter to My Past Self About the Physics of Baby Tableware

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a splatter of pureed sweet potato slowly seeping beneath the 'Esc' key of your favorite mechanical keyboard. You're holding a standard ceramic ramekin in...

Read more

A messy highchair tray with a green silicone baby bowl and half-eaten spaghetti

The Day I Threw Out Every Plastic Plate in My House

There was spaghetti sauce on the ceiling. I'm still not entirely sure how the physics of it worked, but my oldestβ€”who is the cautionary tale for 90% of my parenting decisionsβ€”had just execute a flawless, unprovoked karate kick to the...

Read more

Tired dad holding a green silicone baby bib covered in sweet potato puree.

A Letter to My Past Self About the Great Baby Bib Migration

Hey past Marcus. It's currently November, which means you're standing in the kitchen at 2 AM, holding a cloth that smells vaguely of sour milk, trying to calculate if it's physically possible for a five-month-old to output more fluid than...

Read more

Messy toddler eating in a high chair wearing a soft organic cotton snap bib.

The Honest Truth About Organic Baby Bibs (And What To Avoid)

I'm currently staring at a mountain of laundry on my living room sofa, and right on top is a graveyard of those stiff, plastic-backed baby bibs I bought for my oldest son five years ago. Bless his heart, he was...

Read more