What Nobody Tells You About the Amazon Baby Registry Welcome Box
I was sitting on my living room floor, ankle-deep in cardboard boxes and packing peanuts, sweating through my maternity shirt in the middle of a brutal Texas July. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant with my oldest childβthe one who's currently...
Why Your Strampler Baby Needs Far Less Clothes Than You Think
I remember distinctly sitting on my living room rug about four years ago, trying to wrestle my oldest sonβs chubby little newborn thigh into a pair of raw denim baby jeans. He was screaming like I was torturing him, my...
The 3 AM Google Searches That Prove Postpartum is Wild
The other night, I was sitting in the dark nursing my youngest, running on maybe forty-five cumulative minutes of sleep, trying to type 'eco baby gear' into my phone with one thumb while balancing a burp cloth on my knee....
How to Find Free Baby Samples Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sitting on my living room couch at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I had stretched to their absolute physical limit over my seven-month pregnant belly, staring at my phone as my inbox counter...
The Brutal Truth About Shower Gifts That Guests Actually Keep
I'm standing in my kitchen, staring at a tiny resin carriage I just found in the back of my junk drawer. I honestly don't know whose party it came from. Before I had my own kid, I thought you had...
That Time A Baby Possum Taught Me Everything About Infant Sleep
I was standing in my gravel driveway at two in the afternoon, sweat pooling in the small of my back, holding a literal shoebox containing a shivering, bald little creature while my oldest toddler screamed so loud the neighbors probably...
How to Actually Raise a Happy Baby (And Not Lose Your Mind)
Dear Jess of exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and mismatched pajama pants, crying into a cold cup of coffee while the baby screams like you've deeply offended...
The Truth About Maternity Dresses for Baby Showers
Let me tell y'all the biggest lie the internet ever sold us: that you're going to float into your celebration at thirty-two weeks pregnant looking like a perfectly contoured, dew-kissed fertility goddess in a restrictive satin gown. I'm starting right...
Decoding the Old Navy Baby Sizing Matrix and Hard Truths
I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom at 2:14 AM yesterday, surrounded by a mountain of clean laundry, trying to compile a sorting algorithm in my head. I held up three different pairs of pants. They were all...