The Honest Parent's Guide to Surviving Carhartt Baby Clothes
It's a freezing Tuesday in November 2018, and I'm standing in the middle of a disgustingly hip baby boutique in Portland, Oregon, wearing yoga pants that haven't seen an actual yoga studio since Obama was in office. I'm clutching a...
The truth about finding the best baby stroller for your life
Sitting in the hospital breakroom at thirty-four weeks pregnant, chewing on generic ice chips, I received three completely conflicting mandates on how to transport a human infant. Sarah from the pediatric ward told me to buy the heaviest European luxury...
The Brutal Truth About Beanie Baby Value and Nursery Safety
I'm sitting on the freezing concrete floor of my parents' garage in the Chicago suburbs, staring at three massive plastic tubs filled with Princess Diana bears and tie-dye lobsters. My mom is standing over me, casually mentioning that this plastic...
What A Pediatric Nurse Wants You To Know About Your Baby's Soft Spot
I used to sit at the triage desk at a major pediatric hospital in Chicago and watch the first-time dads walk in. They always carried the car seat completely rigid, holding their breath like they were transporting weapons-grade plutonium. But...
Why The Baby's Day Out Movie Cast Haunts My Anxious Dad Brain
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. Put down the lukewarm decaf. You're currently sitting on the couch in our Portland apartment, tracking the room temperature on your phone (itβs 71.4 degrees, which is apparently best) and staring at our...
Why trendy baby's breath is actually a nursery nightmare
I was standing by the dessert table at my sister-in-law's aggressively rustic baby shower in Evanston when I watched my toddler make a dead sprint for the floor-length floral garland. Before I could even put down my lukewarm tea, he...
The terrifying physics of your first garden baby swing setup
I'm standing in our damp, aggressively overgrown London garden, holding twenty feet of braided nylon rope and staring at a branch on our neighbor's encroaching oak tree, while Florenceβwho's supposed to be sitting quietly on a blanketβattempts to eat a...
The Truth About Long Baby Sherpa-Lined Cotton Coats In Winter
We're sitting in the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue, the wind is doing that specific Chicago thing where it tries to actively slice your face off, and the mom parked next to me is fighting for her life. She's...
The brutal truth about water babies and safe infant hydration
I was sitting on the edge of the Oak Street Beach splash pad last August when I watched a well-meaning grandmother twist the cap off a bottle of smartwater and bring it to the lips of a newborn. The kid...