Magazine
Writing a Baby Shower Card When You Have No Idea What to Say
I was standing in the greeting card aisle at the local Portland Fred Meyer, holding a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, completely paralyzed. I had solicited advice from three different people on what to write in...
What's That Supposed to Be About Baby? Decoding Newborn Quirks
I was holding my iPhone flashlight over my daughter's bassinet at 3:14 AM, trying to see if her tongue was vibrating. She was making this rapid-fire clicking sound that sounded exactly like a dying hard drive. I had my other...
When can babies have water: surviving the summer hydration wars
July in Chicago is a specific kind of swampy misery. Two years ago, the air conditioning unit in our third-floor apartment wheezed its last breath right in the middle of a heatwave. I was sweating through my nursing tank top,...
When Can You Feel Baby Move? The Real Truth About First Kicks
I was seventeen weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting in my Chevy Tahoe in the Target parking lot, aggressively jabbing myself in the stomach with two fingers. An app on my phone, which I really shouldn't have trusted to begin...
The Honest Truth About When Do Babies Laugh (And Why I Stopped Trying)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of the nursery wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and sweatpants I hadnβt washed in a week, making aggressive, high-pitched monkey noises at my three-week-old son, Leo....
When Do Babies Sit Up On Their Own? The Honest Truth
Last Tuesday, my mother-in-law told me I needed to prop my four-month-old in a corner with pillows or his spine would stay curved forever. The next day, a girl in my mom group swore her babie was doing unassisted crunches...
The Accidental Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Guide for Anxious Dads
Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo. I know this because I'm you, and I remember the exact texture of the bathmat you're presently sitting on while trying to escape the chaos of your...
Surviving the Newborn Phase: The Real Deal on Baby Rockers
It was 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was eating a cold, half-bitten Eggo waffle over the sink while my oldest, Leo, screamed like I was trying to sell him to the circus. He was exactly five weeks old,...
Figuring Out the Baby Booster Meaning Before You Lose Your Mind
It was 8:14 on a Tuesday morning, I was wearing my husband Dave's faded college sweatshirt that smelled faintly of stale Cheerios, and my third cup of coffee was already cold. I was sitting at the kitchen island filling out...