The High Chair Mistakes I Made (So You Don't Have To)
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at 11:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing sweatpants that smelled aggressively like sour milk, using one of my husbandβs old electric toothbrush heads to scrub pulverized sweet potato out of the ruffled seams...
Dear Tom: Put down the Sweet Baby Ray's immediately
Dear Tom of six months ago. It's Sunday afternoon, you're standing in the back garden holding a plastic squeeze bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's, and you're about to make a terrible, deeply sticky mistake. I know exactly what you're thinking....
Why I Stopped Trying to Replicate the Niche Chinese Babies Trend
It's 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and Florence has gone fully rigid, achieving a level of plank-like stiffness that would genuinely impress an Olympic gymnast, purely to prevent me from putting her left arm into a winter coat. In a...
My Brutally Honest Review of Little Spoon Baby Food Deliveries
I'm standing in an unfamiliar kitchen in Chicago at six in the morning, holding a plastic tub of green sludge that claims to contain spirulina, chia, and something called a 'dragon fruit.' My twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, are rhythmically...
When Do Babies Start Eating Baby Food? A Twin Dad's Messy Guide
Dear Tom of eighteen months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3am, staring at a very expensive, totally unused baby food maker, frantically typing misspelled queries like "when do I feed my babi" into your phone with one...
The Great Lentil Smear: Iron Rich Foods for Babies Explained
I'm currently standing in my kitchen, staring at a beige splatter on the ceiling that used to be a highly nutritious, iron-fortified chicken and white bean puree, wondering where my journalism career went so spectacularly wrong. Twin A (Florence) is...
The Messy Truth About Baby Yogurt: What I Wish I Knew Back Then
I'm currently staring at a crusty, suspicious white stain on my kitchen ceiling and I've absolutely no idea how it got there. Wait, no, yes I do. It's whole milk Greek yogurt, flung with the precision of an Olympic shot...
Why Dutch Baby Pancakes Actually Saved My Sanity on a Tuesday
It was 5:43 AM and I was wearing a pair of maternity leggings that I definitely should have retired in 2019. There was a weird crusty spot on the left knee that was either dried oatmeal or... actually, I don't...
Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the First Baby Smash Cake
I'm currently using a plastic putty knife to scrape hardened Greek yogurt off the kitchen baseboards. It's 10:43 PM on a Saturday. The baby is finally asleep, though his hair still smells faintly of mashed bananas and damp sponge. So,...