What Raising a Baby, a Billionaire, and Me Have in Common
I was six months pregnant with my oldestβwho, bless his heart, has become my walking cautionary tale for every single parenting mistake in the bookβwhen three completely different people cornered me at my baby shower with unsolicited advice on how...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Baby Sleep Training Before & After
It's exactly 3:14 in the morning. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the microwave are burning into my retinas while I stand in the kitchen, wearing my husband Dave's oversized college track shirt that smells vaguely of...
What a Freezing Park Day Taught Me About Parenting Like a Wild Cat
It was 14 degrees in late January. Maya was maybe four months old, strapped to my chest in one of those trendy animal-print carriers that I paid way too much for because Instagram told me to. I had three layers...
Dear Past Me: The Baby Sonic Toothbrush Wars Will Break You
Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently Tuesday evening, and you're sitting on the cold, damp tiles of the family bathroom. You have a standard-issue manual infant toothbrush clutched in your sweating right hand, while your twin daughters have...
Why giving your toddler a baby stanley is a pediatric nightmare
Tuesday morning. My fourteen-month-old has both hands wrapped around the base of my forty-ounce metal tumbler, trying to deadlift it off the coffee table. He is vibrating with effort. The cup outweighs his head. He manages to tilt it just...
Debugging The Infant Travel System Compatibility Matrix
It's currently forty-two degrees and raining sideways in the parking lot of a Portland Target, and I'm aggressively jiggling a piece of molded plastic while my eleven-month-old son screams as if I've deeply betrayed him. I'm trying to attach his...
Finding the Right Medical Baby Synonym: A Parent's Guide to Stages
It was a Tuesday at 8 PM, which is basically the witching hour in the fluorescent-lit aisles of Target, and I was holding a fleece sleep sack with little grey clouds on it while silently crying into my half-empty iced...
Why The Baby Thinking Meme Is Actually Real Life In Our House
It's 3:14 AM on a particularly damp Tuesday in London, and I'm currently locked in a psychological standoff with a 14-pound dictator. The house is completely silent, save for the distant hum of a night bus and the sound of...
Late Night Feeds And The Baby Trapped By The Billionaire Obsession
When the twins were born, everyone had brilliant, entirely conflicting theories about surviving the night feeds. My mum swore by keeping the room pitch black and humming ancient Celtic lullabies. The NHS health visitor suggested doing complex mental maths to...