Was ziehe ich meinem baby an? A very tired mom's clothing guide
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in front of the hallway thermostat wearing Daveβs stained Ohio State college hoodie, holding a screaming seven-week-old Maya. The digital display said 71 degrees. I was sweating. Maya was sweating, mostly because...
A Letter to Past Jess About Finding a Quality Kids Boutique
Dear Jess from last October. I'm currently staring at a giant black trash bag sitting in the hallway that's full of neon, plastic-feeling shirts that somehow shrank three sizes in a single wash, and pants where the knees blew out...
The Great Bath Time Scam: What To Actually Put On Infant Skin
I was standing in aisle 14 of Target at 8:47 PM on a Tuesday, wearing my husbandβs paint-stained sweatpants and aggressively clutching a lukewarm oat milk latte. My phone was vibrating out of my hand with three different text threads....
My very messy, tear-filled attempt at babydecke stricken
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in November 2016, and I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous, scratchy brown living room rug. I was seven months pregnant with Leo, wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college hoodie, and I was...
Decoding the Holiday Dress Code: Surviving Baby's First Christmas
I'm currently staring at a miniature three-piece tweed suit that my mother-in-law mailed us for my 11-month-old daughter's first holiday party. It has an actual pocket square. It has a vest with decorative buttons smaller than a grain of rice....
Surviving the sticky, panic-inducing reality of baby suncare
It was late May, the temperature had inexplicably hit 22 degrees in London, and I was staring at my twin daughters in their double pram like they were gremlins about to melt in the light. They were barely four months...
The reality of baby sizes and why age labels are lying to you
I was sweating through my postpartum shirt, trying to fold my three-week-old son's arm into a rigid denim jacket labeled zero-to-three months for a mandatory family photo. His arm was stuck at a strange right angle while he screamed, and...
Debugging Dinner: The Honest Truth About Washable Adult Bibs
At exactly 6:14 PM on Thanksgiving, the system architecture of our family dinner completely collapsed. My eleven-month-old, currently running a highly unstable version of his motor-skills firmware, had just discovered the gravitational physics of mashed sweet potatoes, launching a spoonful...
Debugging Newborn BabytΓΈj: A First-Time Dad's Guide to V1.0 Hardware
Itβs 3:14 AM on our second night home from the hospital, and Iβm staring at a tiny, floppy human trying to figure out how to get a rigid cotton shirt over his head. His neck has zero structural integrity. Itβs...