The Brutal Truth About Baby Guinea Pigs Nobody Tells Parents
The teenager behind the counter at the pet store was casually explaining to a mother that if she touched her new baby guinea pig, the mother pig would smell human on the baby and eat it. I had to physically...
Building A Survival Baby Hamper For The 3 AM Meltdowns
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. Maya is four days old, and she's screaming with the intensity of a tiny, furious dinosaur. I'm standing in our dark kitchen wearing nothing but mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that...
Surviving the Fourth Trimester: When Your Newborn Owns You
I was wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively of sour milk and my husband Daveβs old college sweatpants with a mysterious crusty patch on the knee, standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM swaying like a seasick sailor. Maya...
Dear Past Tom: The Baby Invasion Trailer Will Ruin Your Week
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring blankly at a wall that needs painting, drinking a cup of instant coffee that went cold an hour ago. You're feeling incredibly smug because both twins...
The Night I Searched Baby Kxtten and Broke My Tech Dad Brain
The thermostat was locked at exactly 69.5 degrees, the ambient white noise machine was humming at a steady 45 decibels, and the 11-month-old had finally ceased her evening operational errors. I was sitting on the living room rug, eating cold...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Baby Looney Tunes
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in our Logan Square apartment at three in the morning. The radiator is making that terrifying clanking noise again. The baby has a mild fever from...
When A Therapy App And A Literal Baby Manatee Saved My Sanity
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's ancient Boston College hoodie. The one that has a crusty, mysterious stain on the left cuff that could be hummus, could be dried...
What To Do When Your Toddler Finds A Wild Mouse Nest At Home
I was waist-deep in a pile of winter clothes in the garage, trying to find a matching pair of mittens that probably haven't existed since 2021, when my oldest, Jackson, tapped me on the shoulder. He was holding what looked...
Surviving a Baby With No Money Left (Especially When It's Twins)
I was sitting in the driverβs seat of a 2011 Vauxhall Astra in the car park of St Thomasβ Hospital, staring at the NatWest app on my cracked phone screen. My wife was in the passenger seat, clutching a strip...