Dear Past Me: Surviving a Baby Pug and a Human Infant at Once

Dear Past Me from exactly six months ago,

It's Tuesday, 10:14 AM. You're standing in the kitchen wearing those black maternity leggings that you absolutely refuse to throw away even though Leo is four and Maya is seven. You have a mug of lukewarm French roast in your hand that you’ve already microwaved twice. And your husband, Dave—who apparently lost his mind sometime during his morning commute—has just walked through the back door holding a wrinkled, wheezing potato that's actually a baby pug.

At the exact same time, your sister is pulling into the driveway to drop off her six-month-old infant, Liam, because her daycare just flooded and you "work from home" so obviously you can nanny full-time while writing articles. Sure.

So suddenly, you've a human baby in one arm, and a tiny dog in the other. I literally started calling the dog Baby P in my text messages because I was too sleep-deprived to type the word 'pug'. Just… baby p. And a human baby. In the same house.

I need you to listen to me, Past Sarah. Put down the coffee. Look at me. This is going to be a complete, beautiful, chaotic mess, but you'll survive it. Mostly.

Dave and his internet statistics

Dave is going to stand in the kitchen while the dog pees on your favorite rug and he will excitedly tell you that pugs have a 92% pass rate on the American Temperament Test. He’s going to literally read you paragraphs from his phone about how historically, Chinese emperors bred them to be perfect little lap dogs. You will want to throw your mug at him.

But here's the infuriating thing: he’s actually right about the personality. Pugs are weirdly, exceptionally good with kids. You're going to be terrified that the dog will snap at Liam when the baby starts army-crawling, but pugs just… don't care. They have zero prey drive. A terrier would see a crawling baby and think *oh my god a squirrel let's hunt*, but a pug just sees a slow-moving roadblock.

They're also incredibly sturdy. They look tiny, but they're built like little hairy bowling balls. When Leo inevitably trips over his own feet and falls near the dog, the dog isn't going to shatter into a million pieces like a delicate toy breed would. They're solid. Heavy. Dense.

The whole flat face breathing situation

You need to prepare yourself for the medical reality of this animal, because it's basically like having a newborn with a permanent respiratory issue. When we finally dragged this puppy to the vet, the vet—who honestly looked too young to even be out of college, I swear he was like twelve—started using words like Brachycephalic Airway Syndrome.

I guess it basically means their faces are too flat to breathe right? Our vet made it sound like they're physically incapable of cooling themselves down. It triggered all my maternal health anxiety immediately. My doctor always told me that human babies can't keep stable their body temperature well, but with this dog, it’s a whole other level.

You have to basically turn your living room into a maximum security climate-controlled bunker because leaving them outside in the heat for even a few minutes when they're playing with the kids is how they get heatstroke. I spent half the summer aggressively policing the back door, yelling at Leo to stop throwing the ball because the dog was wheezing like an old man smoking a cigar.

Let's talk about the wrinkle cheese

I thought dealing with Liam’s cradle cap and Leo's baby acne was the peak of gross parenting maintenance, but I was so wrong. The pug wrinkles are a nightmare. You have to clean the folds on their face every single day.

If you don't clean them, they get these horrible yeast infections that smell exactly like old corn chips mixed with desperation. You will find yourself sitting on the floor with baby wipes, trying to swab out a dog's face folds while a human baby screams in the background because he dropped his pacifier.

Here's a completely honest list of things I've pulled out of this dog’s facial wrinkles over the last six months:

• Three separate Cheerios (soggy)
• A piece of green glitter slime that Maya lost in April
• A horrifying amount of gray couch lint
• Dried sweet potato puree that Liam flung from his highchair

Oh, and if Dave tries to tell you that pugs are hypoallergenic because they've short hair, please inform him he's an idiot because they've a double coat and shed like a Christmas tree in February. Anyway, moving on.

Teething: when both babies become land sharks

Here's something nobody warns you about: puppy teething and human baby teething happening in the same room is a psychological thriller. Between 16 and 24 weeks, the baby pug is going to lose 28 tiny, razor-sharp baby teeth. At the exact same time, Liam is cutting his front bottom teeth. Both of them are in constant pain, both of them are drooling, and both of them want to put literally everything in your house into their mouths.

I was desperately buying teething toys just to keep everyone from chewing on the baseboards. I originally got the Panda Teether Silicone Baby Bamboo Chew Toy for Liam, and honestly, it's a masterpiece. It's genuinely my favorite thing because it’s massive and flat. The baby can grip it easily with his little chubby hands, and more importantly, if the pug accidentally snatches it off the playmat, he can't swallow it whole. It’s made of food-grade silicone and it just goes straight in the dishwasher when it inevitably gets covered in dog hair.

Because I was panic-buying at 2 AM, I also bought the Bubble Tea Teether. It’s… just okay. I mean, it's cute as hell, and Liam really liked chewing on the little silicone boba pearls, but the "straw" part gave me major anxiety. The dog would sit there staring at the straw like it was a premium meat stick, and I was constantly terrified he was going to bite the tip off. It’s great for the baby, but maybe don't use it on the floor when the land-shark puppy is prowling around.

If you're in the thick of this, honestly just go browse a safe organic baby collection to remind yourself that peaceful, beautiful baby things still exist in the world.

The boundary wars

You can't leave them alone together. Ever. I don't care how sweet the dog is or how sleepy the baby is. You have to basically construct a network of baby gates that makes your house look like a tactical obstacle course, because leaving them unsupervised even for the three seconds it takes to grab a fresh coffee is how you end up at the emergency vet.

Liam was doing tummy time under this gorgeous Rainbow Wooden Baby Gym we got. I love this thing because it’s sustainable wood and doesn't play aggressive electronic music at me while I'm trying to think. But the baby pug thought the hanging wooden elephant was his personal chew toy and kept trying to drag the entire gym across the living room.

So you'll buy gates. You will separate the soft plush toys from the squeaky dog toys (spoiler: they look exactly the same to a baby). You will wash your hands so many times a day you'll strip the top layer of skin off.

But Past Sarah? Six months from now, you’re going to walk into the living room. Liam will be asleep on his playmat. The pug will be asleep three feet away, snoring loudly, his little chin resting on a dropped pacifier. And you’ll realize that even though it’s messy and exhausting, raising a baby pug alongside a human baby is kind of... wonderful.

Before we get into the messy questions that I know you're Googling at 3 AM, do yourself a favor and explore some genuinely safe, organic baby products. Your sanity (and your floors) will thank you.

My desperate 3 AM Google searches, answered

Are pugs actually safe around crawling babies?
Okay, yes, they generally are. My doctor and my vet both basically said the same thing: pugs are lovers, not fighters. They don't have that crazy herding instinct so they aren't going to nip at a crawling baby's heels. BUT they're clumsy. The biggest danger isn't the dog biting the baby, it's the dog accidentally sitting on the baby's head while trying to snuggle.

How do I stop the dog from eating the baby's toys?
You don't. You just manage the environment. You have to keep the tiny plastic things off the floor because a pug will eat a Lego and cost you four thousand dollars in vet bills. Stick to large, flat silicone teethers for the baby when they're on the floor together, and keep the dog's high-value bones in a separate gated room.

Is it normal that my baby pug sleeps this much?
Yes! Oh god, it's the best part. Unlike a lab puppy that needs a five-mile run, a pug puppy plays intensely for about ten minutes and then passes out for three hours. They're incredibly nap-time friendly, which is the only reason I survived having Liam here every day.

Can the baby catch anything from the dog's weird facial wrinkles?
I literally asked my doctor this because I was panicking about bacteria. Basically, just practice normal hygiene. Wash the baby's hands. Don't let the dog lick the baby's mouth (gross anyway). But the yeast in a dog's wrinkles is specific to the dog's skin environment, it's not like the baby is going to catch dog face-fungus. Just clean the wrinkles daily with a vet-approved wipe and wash your own hands after.

Should I wait until my baby is older to get a pug?
If I had a time machine? Yeah, maybe wait until the human kid is like, three. Managing a puppy's potty training while also changing human diapers is a special level of hell. But if you're already in it? Buy baby gates, drink the coffee, and accept that your house is just going to be loud and covered in crumbs for the next year.